Kids
A court will nearly always award custody of children to the mother. Is there a good reason, or is it just the courts having a really antiquated view of morals?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 11:37, 19 replies)

DO NOT GET ME FUCKING STARTED ON THIS.
Some people (of both genders) are shit parents. Some people (of both genders) are GOOD parents. To find in favour of one side based on their gender is grotesque sexism and utterly fucking retarded.

This makes me very, very angry indeed.

I have had to spend literally thousands and thousands of pounds just to be able to see my daughter for three hours a fucking week. Throughout the whole process her mother held all the cards, depsite the fact her only objections to my having access were that she knew I wanted to be involved as a parent and that by objecting she could cause me upset, as punishment for having the temerity to have dumped her for being physically violent.

It's a fucking DISGRACE.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 11:48, closed)

A mate of mine had a bit of a psycho girlfriend for 10 years too.
They had 2 kids and eventually she moved out and she got the daughter and the lad lived with him and they had an amicable arragement. Then he took the kids back home and she was pissed up and he said he'll bring the kids back in the morning when she sobered up. She went mental, and give him a good hiding, but he just stood there. When she'd finished and slammed the door, he went to the police and reported her for assault, as he had a bust nose, a split lip and bruises he pretty much won them over.

They went round and arrested her, but would they let him take the kids home? Would they fuck, they took them to her parents house.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 12:16, closed)

It's fucking disgusting.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 14:12, closed)

Eventually,
it all came out in the wash and he got access. Took nearly 2 years in the end. It started one day every other weekend, then every weekend, then a few weekdays after school. He told me his secret was to be whiter than white, be patient and not be too defiant. This eroded any possible angle that the psycho-bint could use against him. In the end her solicitor told her in no uncertain terms that if she tried to push it any further than it's going to look bad against her and she had to admit defeat.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 14:27, closed)

*takes notes*
cheers mate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 14:35, closed)

No problem fella
and I sincerely wish you every success.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 14:52, closed)

Back in court in a few days...
...for my 8th hearing. The case is nearly 3 years old.

Can't say much because it would be `contempt of court' and risk up to 2 years in prison. Have tried mediation and been refused repeatedly and it's a good month if I don't get a nasty letter from her solicitor.

I represent myself in court with the help of a nice lady and am a member of a parenting charity called `Families Need Fathers' - they don't dress up as super heros, women make up 1/3 of the membership and they work with the courts and the like to change this hideous system.

Google them if you're interested - without them, I would have been forced to have given up on my son by now.
(Audax Victor, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 19:53, closed)

Thanks for the tip
I've always been very wary of these groups, unfairly grouping them all together with the Spiderman mob.

Good luck - sounds like you're in a similar boat to me. My little girl is just 17 months old, though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 15:21, closed)

Not that different..
My son is 3 now. The case started when he was 6 months old. I dream of the day my ex is happy to deal with things without the need for court.

FNF advocates avoiding court where ever possible, encouraging cooperation between parents and helping to make a hard situation as easy as possible.

Feel free to give me a shout if you want a chat - I know exactly what it feels like mate.
(Audax Victor, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 16:12, closed)

Violence (or indeed any other accusation)
should have to be proven for it to have any effect on the proceedings. If proven, the proceedings should then be in favour of the victim.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Wed 30 Dec 2009, 13:22, closed)

Absolutely.
Although the current system does help the ill-fitting superhero costume business.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 14:12, closed)

Family Courts
They work on the `balance of probability' and not `beyond reasonable doubt'. Many people in these courts find the best thing to do is sling as much mud as possible at their other opponent with the hope of some of it sticking. If it ain't true, there's no risk of being done for perjury as the courts are secret...sorry `private'.

Meaning you can say anything you like to further your goal without having to worry if you're caught out lying.
(Audax Victor, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 19:56, closed)

Brilliant, isn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 15:22, closed)

it's a load of shit
my mate hasn't seen his son for 13 years. the boy's maternal grandfather threatened to kill my mate if he went near his own son. his ex also threatened him with violence repeatedly. my mate is a top bloke, has a nice house and a lovely partner. despite this, despite the mother having a criminal record as long as your arm(mostly for drugs and violence), despite the maternal grandfather being a well-known gangster-type and also having a very long arrest record, my mate still has no access whatsoever.
the reason for this? he's gay and, therefore, has been deemed an unsuitable father.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 21:48, closed)

I speak with experience of this - my ex was very difficult for a while.
But being gay does deny you the chance of fatherhood. Being as two people of the same gender cannot procreate. Sorry.

My being white precludes me from dancing well.

Them's the breaks.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Mon 4 Jan 2010, 14:43, closed)

his ex is female, you know
she knew he was gay, but said she still wanted a kid with him. he wanted to be a dad, so they decided to give it a go. as soon as the baby was born, she freaked and threw him out.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 17:33, closed)

Really sore point in Australia too
I have spent approximately 8 yrs in the Family Law Courts,lost my house & ended up bankrupt just trying to make sure my daughter was raised properly.Said daughter now lives with me and has progressed well with professional help, but I still have to pay a child support debt to her mother, while her mother pays nothing. CSA have openly stated that if it were reversed they would pursue me till the ends of the earth....cunts. I hate the fact that having tits and a vag will get you almost anything in our society. Equality my arse, those cunts want it all.
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 7:42, closed)

It's not women that are problem...
...it's the system that allows some of the psycho variety to abuse it. Women tend to get residence (custody as it was once known) because they tend to be primary carers before a relationship breaks up. When both partners are reasonable people, there is no problem.

I've known women to fall foul of the system when their former partners have been the primary carer too. Evil blokes abuse the system too - they just don't get the chance as much.

I don't blame women, despite what is happening to me. I've had more help from female friends and other women than blokes - and my faith in women is being restored on a daily basis.

So what's the solution? For decent people of both sexes to work together against the evil types. Plus - you don't want to go through this shame shit again as a grandad do you? My son ain't going to go through this if he ever becomes a dad!
(Audax Victor, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 11:55, closed)

To be fair
The one decent Magistrate I've been in front of was a woman....she was able to see right through the shit, and straight away restored access to my daughter. But the female child reps, the womens legal service( where is the "mens"legal service?)the female counsellors, family report writers, and all but 1 magistrate seem to believe your story more credible, with no supporting evidence against other (mens)side with evidence, as long as you've got tits, you've got the advantage.
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Fri 1 Jan 2010, 2:18, closed)