Hitachi Magic Wand
While I was living in Melbourne, Australia I was working on a research project for the FBI in Washington DC, so had to fly to the USA every couple of months. On one trip I met a young girl called Julie in a bar who was 12 years younger than me - we had a night together and then I went back to Aus. She stalked me online and started sending me emails and ringing me up.

A year later she actually saved up and bought a ticket to Australia to come and visit me. I actually had a girlfriend in Australia at this time but that didn't stop her. So the day Julie arrives, I show her into a bedroom at my house and tell her to get some sleep to recover from the jet lag.

The girlfriend and I are sitting in the dining room when there is an enormous *bang* and all the lights go out and the electricity goes off. Julie emerges sheepishly from the bedroom holding a Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator - after a long flight she had decided to squeeze one out - unfortunately she did not realise that the USA and Aus had different voltage systems and she blew all the fuses in the house.

A month later I married Julie - we were wed in the Graceland chapel in Las Vegas, by Elvis of course - I was dressed as a Roman Catholic priest and she was dressed as a schoolgirl. So Yes, I married my stalker, I now live int eh States, and she still regularly uses the Hitachi she bought to replace the one that exploded (http://www.amazon.com/Hitachi-Magic-Wand/dp/B004M8L8MA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1337341501&sr=8-1)
(iamdrdee *The more we are sober, the less we are free*, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:17, 10 replies)

* sounds the alarm *

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 18 May 2012, 13:50, closed)

The alarm went off at "12 years younger"
then exploded at "dressed as a schoolgirl".

Someone owes me a new alarm.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:41, closed)

So it seems I'm not the only one who jet-lag makes horny
My theory is that your body thinks "I need something! Food? No. Water? No. Sleep? No. Hmm, what's left?"
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 18 May 2012, 13:54, closed)

I can't count high enough to the amount of different levels this is wrong on.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:00, closed)

It's
all of them.
(fivetide, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:05, closed)

Morally and factually.

(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Sat 19 May 2012, 1:56, closed)

POIDH

( Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:33, closed)

whoa there
I want to hear more about this whole cohabiting with girlfriend stalker arrives married within weeks bit.
(jennymnemonic, Fri 18 May 2012, 17:21, closed)

2nded.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 18 May 2012, 17:56, closed)

The plug won't fit the socket.
An Aussie socket looks like this: / \. A US (also Canadian) plug looks like this: | |. The one won't go into the other. I doubt that part of the story. And consulting work for Farm Bureau Insurance? Please.
(uncle_bud is not the jelly roll king., Fri 18 May 2012, 18:00, closed)