My sex misconceptions
Freddy Woo writes, "aged eight, a boy from my class told me everything these was to know about sex: male prostitutes are called destitutes and women use tampons to stop men sticking their willies up them. Also, women pee out their bums, something I didn't realise was wrong until I was about 18 and my first girlfriend looked at me aghast."
Share everything - Uncle B3ta wants to know.
zero points for conception/misconception jokes
( , Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:54)
Freddy Woo writes, "aged eight, a boy from my class told me everything these was to know about sex: male prostitutes are called destitutes and women use tampons to stop men sticking their willies up them. Also, women pee out their bums, something I didn't realise was wrong until I was about 18 and my first girlfriend looked at me aghast."
Share everything - Uncle B3ta wants to know.
zero points for conception/misconception jokes
( , Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:54)
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Bad drug
We used to hang out with a mate who was a prolific shoplifter. We'd go to the shops and walk around and point out the things we wanted and he'd duly steal it for us. For some or other reason we ended up in a pharmacy one day and we spotted a bottle of spanish fly or poppers in laymans terms. This shop presented a particular challenge for our budding criminal mastermind as the spanish fly was located directly in front of the main till. The challenge was duly issued by Brandon to Danny the thief to pilfer the bottle on the proviso that it will be used on Brandons mum that very evening if the operation was a success.
Fast forward 3 hrs and three 13 yr old boys were round at Brandons house being ever so nice to mumsi. We'd offered to fetch her wine when she was thirsty and attended to her every need. The reasoning behind niceties were twofold, firstly we wanted to spike her wine and secondly we needed to be close at hand to actually observe the effect of the drug. Needless to say three 13 yr olds being nice a parent soon rumbled suspicions & after much sniggering and stifled laughter we came clean that she had drunk about 3 times the recommended dose of spanish fly.
Now it had to be said that we were expecting a rabid horny woman to emerge from the intake of the liquid. Given that Brandon was actually administering it to his mum the outcome was in retrospect poorly thought out. However in my defence we were 13 and the outcome of any event at this age is rarely discussed before anything is attempted.
Nevertheless the whole experiment was a dismal failure. She failed to alter her state into anything other than an incandescent rage and our misconception that spanish fly would result in a horny woman was blown clean out of the water.
( , Mon 29 Sep 2008, 12:11, 2 replies)
We used to hang out with a mate who was a prolific shoplifter. We'd go to the shops and walk around and point out the things we wanted and he'd duly steal it for us. For some or other reason we ended up in a pharmacy one day and we spotted a bottle of spanish fly or poppers in laymans terms. This shop presented a particular challenge for our budding criminal mastermind as the spanish fly was located directly in front of the main till. The challenge was duly issued by Brandon to Danny the thief to pilfer the bottle on the proviso that it will be used on Brandons mum that very evening if the operation was a success.
Fast forward 3 hrs and three 13 yr old boys were round at Brandons house being ever so nice to mumsi. We'd offered to fetch her wine when she was thirsty and attended to her every need. The reasoning behind niceties were twofold, firstly we wanted to spike her wine and secondly we needed to be close at hand to actually observe the effect of the drug. Needless to say three 13 yr olds being nice a parent soon rumbled suspicions & after much sniggering and stifled laughter we came clean that she had drunk about 3 times the recommended dose of spanish fly.
Now it had to be said that we were expecting a rabid horny woman to emerge from the intake of the liquid. Given that Brandon was actually administering it to his mum the outcome was in retrospect poorly thought out. However in my defence we were 13 and the outcome of any event at this age is rarely discussed before anything is attempted.
Nevertheless the whole experiment was a dismal failure. She failed to alter her state into anything other than an incandescent rage and our misconception that spanish fly would result in a horny woman was blown clean out of the water.
( , Mon 29 Sep 2008, 12:11, 2 replies)
quite apart from the fact
that spanish fly and poppers are VERY different and any attempt to add poppers to wine would result in painful vomit filled oblivion.
( , Tue 30 Sep 2008, 8:14, closed)
that spanish fly and poppers are VERY different and any attempt to add poppers to wine would result in painful vomit filled oblivion.
( , Tue 30 Sep 2008, 8:14, closed)
Actually, I once drank a hearty swig of poppers by accident.
All I did was fart massively and trip like a bastard for about an hour. This was in a pub.
( , Wed 1 Oct 2008, 21:00, closed)
All I did was fart massively and trip like a bastard for about an hour. This was in a pub.
( , Wed 1 Oct 2008, 21:00, closed)
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