Pubes
Picture the scene. It was a long hot summer in Wiltshire, 1985... Live Aid was on the telly and, filled with ideas of saving the world, I ran round to my mate Chris's house. Instead of giving food to some Ethiopians etc, we decided to climb the big local tree with the local bully/wanker known as Andrew Ainsley. Me and Chris were eight years old at the time. Andrew Ainsley was nine.

We got to the top of the tree, and then, apropos of nothing much in particular, Andrew Ainsley looked at me and asked whether I knew if the hair around my willie was pubic or astronomical.

Astounded at his use of language, I was immediately stumped. And a little hesitant in answering. To be honest, I didn't have any hair around my willie and sensed a bit of a ribbing if I got the answer wrong. Or maybe even if I got it right. So I thought long. And I thought hard. And then I looked at Chris who just looked back at me and shrugged.

"Mmmm..." I paused - stalling for time. "I'd have to say... Astronomical?"

"ASTRONOMICAL!! You fucking dickhead!" shouted Ainsley, belying the innocence of his nine years.

He gurgled with giddy pleasure and at that very moment fell out of the tree, smashing his knee on this ground, yelping with pain. He crawled away, continuing to laugh and as snot bubbles of pleasure and pain addled his mixed up brain. And then for some reason, even though he clearly had no idea what the fuck any of us were talking about, Chris started to laugh and asked me why I had astronomical hair around my willie. I had no idea and so did what any sensible 8 year old would do, and started to cry.

Chris jumped from the tree and hauled Ainsley to his feet. The two of them skipped off singing about how I had astronomical willie hair and I ran home. It was a terrible end to the day.

I am now 31 and it is 23 years later. When I think about it, I realise I do actually have really long pubes. Probably longer than the average man too. But I wouldn't say astronomical.

So maybe Andrew Ainsley was on to something all those many years ago... He didn't have to be such a cunt about it though.

Cheers - first post and all. **POP**
(IckleWickleStickleIckle, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 23:33, 3 replies)

yes
alright then

have a click
( zulu eh?, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 8:57, closed)

Made me laugh!
*click*
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 14:07, closed)

Good first post...

have a 'Welcome to B3ta' click...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 1 Oct 2008, 15:22, closed)