I think I can safely repost this:
On Hallowe'en this year, my friend C got very drunk and shagged a girl of leviathanic proportions who also tore his back to ribbons. Of course, we have been mocking him about the incident ever since - nicknaming him "Captain Ahab" and making constant jokes about whaling. Sitting in the uni open mic night tonight we were continuing in the same vein, discussing how long (five minutes) it had taken to go from "repartee to rippling motions" when he snapped and half-shouted "WILL YOU LOT STOP GOING ON ABOUT WHALES!"

Just then - literally at that very moment - the next singer stepped up to the microphone and announced "And this is a song I wrote about a whale that's being harpooned". We died. Absolutely died laughing*.

Lines included "They'll eat my eyes, and even my thighs (though I don't have any, because I'm a whale)".

C just sat there, head in hands. I think he is considering leaving the country.


*I got better
( MatJ LOOK, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 17:21, 5 replies)

why do pepole repost their stories?
IT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FIRST TIME, FUCK OFF
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 17:26, closed)

...blah blah blah ...
That's what Charlotte said to me blah blah
(Barnetboy, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 17:29, closed)

Wow, devastating.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 18:26, closed)

But what about you? No regrets?

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 8 Dec 2011, 18:35, closed)

Meh
Yes, but nothing funny. The only real regret is not getting it on with a very attractive blonde at a party some years ago. Pictures exist but will not be posted.
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:42, closed)