One morning I woke up on a sofa
Not unusual, but it wasn't my sofa. I had no idea where I was - some living room in some tower-block flat, it seemed. And I had no idea how I'd got there. On the other end of the sofa was a middle-aged female gorilla, snoring heavily. I don't think we'd done the dirty - we were both fully clothed and I had no horrifying memory fragments of fat boobs or chunky varicosed thighs, so I was good to go. A noise caught my attention, and I looked up, to see two young girls, obviously female gorilla's offspring, nervously standing by the door. I tried to tap the shins of the slumbering monstrosity to wake her up, but I was still drunk and give it a bit more welly than I'd intended. So two girls, aged about seven and five, saw a twenty-five year old Chinaman kicking their passed-out mother in the leg, before he rushed past them to get the hell out.

Not my finest hour.
(McChinaman banned, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 4:25, 7 replies)

That sounds like an un-broadcast episode of 15 storeys high.
( Ghoti Fingers, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 6:28, closed)

Felt like an episode of Crapston Villas

(McChinaman banned, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 6:41, closed)

So, what you're saying here is that you had sex with two girls aged 7 and 5?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 7:05, closed)

Poor old AB. Closing his eyes and imagining it isn't enough, he needs to hear about other people raping children to really get off.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 7:12, closed)

Did the alarm go off?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 21:52, closed)

I was going to read between the lines,
but AB has beaten me to it.

Still, an hour? Nice going.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:24, closed)

45 minutes was spent going out to buy sweets to bribe them.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 21:54, closed)