Yes I Do.
I was in on my own one evening and decided, in contravention of God’s direct orders, to spill my seed on stony ground.

I also decided it was time I knew what kind of face a pulled at my moment of crisis. I’d tried this in the past by looking in a mirror, but as every Schrödinger fan knows this never really works.

It was few years ago when videotronic recording devices where still quite expensive and not included in every phone, but I did have a video camera, so I set it up, had a wank etc, and went to plan.

Of course the following week I lent the camera to an acquaintance who was using it for some university project and loads of people got to see the tape. Praise the fucking lord that this was before the internet was video enabled.

Anyway, the thing that people found amusing was my lack of focus on the job at hand. I was stopping to watch telly, getting up to grab another beer, smoke a fag. The sound of the telly was clearly audible as well. After 40 minutes I finally got my freak on to the unmistakable sound of an episode of Dad’s Army. Years later and there’s still an occasional ‘Who do you think you are kidding Mr Hitler’ or ‘Don’t tell him Pike!’ from the people in the know.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 12:33, 7 replies)

cool story

(username failed moderation, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 12:34, closed)

Subconscious desire to be caught, much?
I mean, I've dun stuff on a video camera -- who hasn't? But the rest of us erase the tape afterwards. Sheesh!

(Still, you're probably the only person in history to get aroused when Dad's Army comes on, so kudos for that.)
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 12:41, closed)

Any man who doesn't think of John Le Mesurier at the moment of climax
is clearly a homosexual.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 12:43, closed)

I was always more a Private Sponge man
I get the feeling he'd be grateful. Le Mesurier would be too demanding in the sack and then leave as soon as he’d got what he wanted.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 12:51, closed)

"Private Sponge" always made me thing of a very "specialist" magazine...

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 12:57, closed)

No. I’m just a fucking idiot. The very first time a bough an eighth I a woke up the next morning to my mum calling up the stairs, “What’s this I’ve found on the kitchen table?”
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 12:47, closed)

Hahahaha
The original story had me biting back the office lols, this has just tipped me over the edge :D

Both of these are exactly the sort of thing I'd do too, I'm partly laughing out of sympathy

*clicks*
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:05, closed)

So, what did you look like?
And why wasn't there any carpet on the floor?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 12:47, closed)

I looked fucking cool

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 12:49, closed)

Excellent.
I need a new facebook profile picture, so I'll be off to emulate you.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 12:59, closed)

this wins
click
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 12:52, closed)

haha
schrodingers wank
(OTT, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 12:59, closed)

This has to win!!!!
I'm sat at work crying on a Friday afternoon, with people looking at me more oddly than usual.
(repooc, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:09, closed)

eipc win right here
Combining the art of the 5 knuckle shuffle with dads army and years of embaressment. Genious
(shamen Geekius Maximus, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:31, closed)