so a virgin is now
someone who hasn't had sex with over 20 people?
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:09, 2 replies)

Do animals count?
Girl animals, obviously.

I'm not sick.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:16, closed)

hmm, good question...
...if they do then...


nope, still 19 (and that's not because I've only shagged boy animals)
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:19, closed)

Nineteen barely even counts as heterosexual.

(Kitty Fantastico "Dwarf, Anorexic and In a Fight ", Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:24, closed)

then tonight, just for you b3tards
I shall dump the wife and go off in the search of fanny!

just to make you all like me, and not think I'm a homo-erectus.
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:28, closed)

Was that a denial
Or admission?
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:27, closed)

which would you rather?
Do you want me to tell you that I have had sex with animals, just so you feel a little less lonely on here?

if it will make you feel better, I did once get caught wanking by my mum, and I managed to hide my pron but made it worse by her assumption I was wanking to the video for 'Stutter Rap'.
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:30, closed)

:-)

(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:38, closed)

Morris and the Minors?

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:12, closed)

yep
the very one, sort of...

it was Morris Minor and the Majors. the finest example of what a difference a consonant can make:

Tony Hawks - walks round Ireland with a fridge, plays tennis against the Moldovans and has a number one hit with a rap parody in 1988.

Tony Hawk - skateboarding legend and pioneer.
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:17, closed)

Now, if Tony Hawk skateboarded around Ireland with a fridge...

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:41, closed)

and then wrote a book about it
in Moldovan.
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:03, closed)

I work on the basis that anyone who needs to count the exact number and post it on the internet
is probably a virgin.

When they get arsey and reiterate it, I no longer think 'probably'.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:30, closed)

arsey?
I was merely asking a question.

I couldn't get to sleep a few weeks ago, I decided I'd try and count the girls I'd slept with... it was annoying when I got to 19 but there may be some I forgot as I am very old now.
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:32, closed)

Sheep
shagger?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:35, closed)

is that your best?
really?
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:44, closed)

I think the implication you could be Welsh
Or at least try to fall asleep by counting girlfriends jumping over a gate, was in it's way quite humerous.

Although it could have been accidental.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:55, closed)

Oh, come on.
Counting conquests, to get to sleep -> counting sheep -> you shag sheep.

OK, Oscar Wilde won't be spinning in his grave, but it wasn't that bad.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:55, closed)

At the risk of the rest of the board thinking we're having some sort of affair,
I was just jealous that you beat me to that joke.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:59, closed)

Isn't it romantic
when we
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:01, closed)

...finish each other’s sentences.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:08, closed)

Oh, scarpe!
Take me, now!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:11, closed)

oh, ok...

(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:18, closed)

The more words you type
the more I heard "virgin virgin virgin virgin". It's like a mantra. A mantra of virginity.

Virgin.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:39, closed)

with that level of protestation
one can only presume...




that's right, I'm trotting out _that_ Shakespeare quote, aren't I the intelligentest and therefore the bestestest?
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:44, closed)

"How now, how now! how go maiden-heads?"

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:55, closed)

I was thinking more...
"no one expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

(that's Shakespeare right?)
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:19, closed)

Quoting Monty Python?
That's definitely not the sort of thing a virgin would do.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:20, closed)

alright then...
maybe we can make a pact, if we both reach 40 and we're still virgins, we'll bum each other to death... I'll go first.
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:36, closed)

You are taking this awfully seriously aren't you?
You know I didn't really think you were a virgin?

Didn't...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:41, closed)

looking back (fnarr)
it was a little more hostile than I originally intended... what can I say, I'm massively frustrated!
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:52, closed)