Conversation with an ex-girlfriend
We'd been going out a few weeks and rutting like rabbits, and were getting past that into something a bit more open, maybe. You know how it progresses. So we're chatting in bed:

Ex: Is there anything you'd like to do?
Me: Do?
Ex: You know...
Me: Oh! Right. Um... *goes shy*
Ex: You can tell me.
Me: But maybe you won't like it, and I'll feel embarrassed.
Ex: Just tell me.
Me: You won't like it.
Ex: Maybe I will.
Me: What about you, is there anything you want to us to do...?
Ex: Not really, I like what we do.
Me: So... you don't want to try anything different?
Ex: Don't change the subject! You can tell me. I won't be offended.
Me: It's not you being offended that's the point.
Ex: Well tell me then.
Me: *sigh* Okay then... *tells*
Ex: ...
Me: So...?
Ex: No chance.
(McChinaman banned, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:19, 14 replies)

Quite right. <<INSERT PERVERSION HERE>> is disgusting

( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:22, closed)

You should be arrested.
No. You should be taken out and shot. By Jeremy Clarkson. Who's wearing crotchless rubber bondage gear with Richard Hammond's freshly-peeled face draped over his turgid member. But you'd probably like that. You disgust me.

Hold me.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:25, closed)

WHAT WAS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(OTT, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:38, closed)

She was probably nice and comfortable
didn't want to walk all the way to the kitchen and make a sandwich.
(username failed moderation, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:56, closed)

Was it stabbing tramps?

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:04, closed)

/\ what? thats considerd disgusting now is it? /\

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:45, closed)

only
If you bum them first.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:28, closed)

She wouldn't go for beer then.

( FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 22:02, closed)

Was it...
Angry pirate?
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 22:33, closed)

With the lights on?

(yourmumonastickwithmintsauce, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 23:50, closed)

Got to be Belgian Biscuit
"A perversion so disgusting no one knows what it is" - Viz
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Sat 10 Dec 2011, 0:20, closed)

Cheers
Not knowing what 'it' is makes this story completely worthwhile
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Sat 10 Dec 2011, 15:18, closed)

I used to love those
Choose Your Own Adventure books.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 10 Dec 2011, 20:11, closed)

You said you wanted to do the sex with her didn't you?

(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 15:41, closed)