i once got straight up offered a blow job from a real cutie that used to hang about down the beach with us, and in a fit of bros before hos consideration said no because i knew a mate had the hots for her and would be gutted.

or so i thought, when he heard about said sacrifice via a mutual friend some time later he came to see me, pissed himself laughing and called me "a fucking poof" for not having gone for it.

Cunt. Still, lesson learned and all that.
(Matty73, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 20:11, 8 replies)

This makes much more sense(*) when read in an Australian accent. At which point it sounds just like my ole' mucker Drunken Oz, after half a pint.

Drunken Oz, is that you fella?! How's it goin' mate?! How's life back in Straya? Did you ever sort out your personal hygiene issues and inability to hold drink?





(*) is possibly comprehensible
(Wilton Mitrowserz, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 20:36, closed)

I bet if you had gone for it he would have called you all the cunts under the sun though.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 21:21, closed)

reader
He was right.
(badgermonkey007, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 22:16, closed)

I read that as
Bros (y'know Luke and Matt) before hos and because Ho don't rhyme so good with Bros, I then parsed hos as Hoss (the comical chubby cowboy fellah in Bonanza)
So if I've got this straight, you passed up a blowjob because you preferred an 80s boy band to a fat cowboy.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 22:59, closed)

I'm going with this version.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 23:02, closed)

Bross before Hoss!!!1eleven1!

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 6:53, closed)

I'm down with this.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 9:52, closed)

you remind me of
the police man from allo allo

gid moaning
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 23:00, closed)