Not me, but a mate (and other oft repeated headers)
A mate was once going out a girl whose parents had gone away for the weekend. So they made ample use of the opportunity. At one point, they were on the sofa and he was fisting her, but she said she felt odd and as he extracted his hand, she blacked out and extruded her breakfast onto the pristine white cushions.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 21:08, 3 replies)

Hmmm
i have heard this before except with the added details that the couple blamed the family dog, so when her parent s came home they took the dog outside and shot it!!!
(electrogirl no one thinks about the implications of a clown su, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 21:48, closed)

...
Why on earth would you attempt to fist someone on a white sofa?
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 22:32, closed)

I'm incredulous
that fisting is talked about in such a casual manner. If I were to tell this story, the very first thing I would say about this girl is that she can not only take fisting, not only enjoys it, but also is so nonchalant about it that she's decided to spice things up by taking it outside of the bedroom.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Sat 29 Mar 2008, 1:05, closed)