floodlit shit
before anyone complains it was mrs spimf who suggested i post this

few years back when mrs spimf and i were courting, as old people like to call it, we had a nice wee drive up the coast from Dundee where i was at art school - marvellous course - utter arsehole of a town, i wont bother apologising to readers from Dundee because there is no such thing.

Anyway, we ended up at broughty ferry where we had a lovely day and decided to park on the seafront and watch the sunset. We found a gravel car park that basically meandered onto the sandy shore with no discernable boundary NB this is not a tide / car sinking tale.

I had a wee joint and got into that warm cosy, cant be arsed mode just as mrs spimf decided to wreak the moment with her now familiar plaintiff mumble - 'I need to go for a wee'.

I had a quick glance around and saw there were 5 or 6 cars dotted around the car park behind us filed with likeminded couples, by now it was also proper dark so I suggested to mrs spimf she go 'al fresco'. mrs spimf reluctantly whispered that it was 'not just a wee she needed'. I saw no real issue with this and said so - after she calmed down and smoothed her feathers she eventually agreed, but only on the basis i watch out for her - in case 'something happened' so we agreed she would go in front of the car in the dark and i would watch out for her 'safety' but not 'look' at her. i still dont understand that.

So there she is squatting down in front of the car carefully out of view of the other people parked further back.

It took a few seconds for me to rouse from my cannabis-induced stupor and realise the potential of the situation. I didnt drive at that time, it was mrs spimf's car. but I quickly jumped into the drivers seat reversed back a few yards, while turning left, then flooded the crouching, shouting and gesticulating mrs spimf with the full beam for all to see.

She wasn’t happy.
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 30 Mar 2008, 21:44, 4 replies)

And she still married you?
Blimey...
( evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Sun 30 Mar 2008, 23:42, closed)

^ ^
that was my first thought too.

If I had been in her place, they might still be looking for your body.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Mon 31 Mar 2008, 3:54, closed)

^^^
If I'd been her, they'd have had to scrape you up with a spoon!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 31 Mar 2008, 13:59, closed)

... *ahem*
I'm from fair Dundonia, i'll have you know young whippersnapper.
(Schumann makes awesome quiches., Mon 31 Mar 2008, 23:32, closed)