child poo
A friend of mine asked me to look after his young toddler daughter one evening. Why he asked me at the time - 20 something bloke with very little children experience - I dont know but anyway, she was a nice kid. His parting words when I asked about, you know, 'changing her', he said, 'probably wont happen in the next couple of hours, but if it does, *you'll know*.' I casually wondered how exactly would I know.

I sat in the lounge for a couple of hours quite anxious. Little girl running about playing with matches, knives, all usual toddler stuff apparently. I worried about how I would tell if she needed to go, would it smell, would it leak through, would there be a patch, did someone call me and let me know? I dunno, i've never really done this.

Suddenly she comes running in clutching a bag of pampers, "Uncle Cokey! I've made a poo for you!". "Oh! So thats how i'd know". Problem 1 solved.

My initial, Ah bless! descended into Ah bollocks as the next problem was suddenly realised.

She ran into the bedroom and I reluctantly followed a few moments later. I found her lying on the bed, legs sticking up in the air, on a towel she had laid out, with her nappy undone and was smiling, thrusting a wet wipe at me. She actually talked me through the whole procedure and laughed at my genuine reaction to her toddler doo doo. She thought I was just joking when in reality, I was trying to work out whether I could actually disable my olfactory system with the power of thought. After wiping up what seemed like a never ending amount of browny-blacky sticky shit and probably all the wet wipes, I finished cleaning. I did well on the nappy and she seemed to be slightly impressed. Which made me happier. She jumped up, pulled up her trousers, gave me a kiss and said thankyou, skipping off to play again. I was quite chuffed.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 12:04, 13 replies)

My mate Iain and his missus
became the proud parents of offspring No. 1 about a year ago. But to this day, he keeps a clothes peg on his nose when he's changing the kid's nappy, as otherwise he retches with the smell.

I thought parents became immune to this sort of thing, but apparently it's not always the case.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 12:13, closed)

Sorry, but...
"20 something bloke with very little children experience" PAEDO!

More seriously, that child sounds as though she knew exactly what was what. Why on Earth, then, was she still reliant on nappies?

*grumbles about youth toddlers of today*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 12:18, closed)

randomly
'Fact' 1: the poo of breastfed babies doesn't smell bad. It's when they begin to drink/eat other stuff that you need to worry. Top tip: breastfeed them for ever, perhaps. Or starve them.

'Fact' 2: apparently research has shown that parents can tolerate/barely notice the smell of their own children's crap. I do not, however, have a citation for this piece of research, nor do I know how they tested it.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 12:42, closed)

!
Crackhouse - a girl at work breast feeds her 5 year old. That means the child must pause from breast feeding to have a chat.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 13:21, closed)

^
I'm all for cheap feeding, but eeeep.
Is it wrong of me to feel somewhat repulsed by this? I mean, weaning must exist for a reason, unless you want to guarantee that your child is lactose tolerant for longer.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 13:26, closed)

^ A friend of mine
was out in Kazakhstan for a while last year, and one of the people he was staying with had an 8 year old child, whom she was still breastfeeding.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 13:43, closed)

Hmmmmm
Grandma bitty is best....yummy.
(Rsoles, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 13:48, closed)

Breastfeeding's easy and quick
but when they can walk, it's time to stop. I've never boaked at my kids' poops (or sick for that matter) but other people's kids? Yaaaarhgh
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 31 Mar 2008, 13:49, closed)

Remember this?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/6681511.stm
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 14:00, closed)

^
Bleeeeeeeeeeeee!
*changes job to somewhere with hotter colleagues*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 14:31, closed)

why
if she was this bright was she not taking herself to the loo.

That said we have children starting school who still wear nappies.
In fact there is a child in year 5 who still wears them at night!!!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 31 Mar 2008, 17:38, closed)

i believe
she was getting toward the end of the transition from nappy to toilet, and she could choose what she wanted. Also, since her dad wasnt there to deal with anything complicated/too messy, it was just easier.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 12:27, closed)

I heard
that breastfeeding is a very good method of getting the baby weight off quickly, and that many women continue to breastfeed their kids long after they stop needing to, to help them stay thin.

Mind you, I can't remember where I heard this, so it might be a load of bs.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 13:25, closed)