SleepwalkingA friend of mine once cooked an entire meal for two in her sleep, ate the lot and washed-up before going back to bed.
She has also awoken to find herself naked, on a fire escape in Fulham, confronted by two burly - and not to mention excitable - officers of the Metropolitan Police.
She doesn't even live in Fulham.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 22:21)
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Sleep smokingEver woken up with the strange and disturbing fragrance of scorched pillow and burnt hair filling your nostrils?
Ever thought you were dreaming about the bed being on fire, only to discover that you weren't dreaming?
If not, then you haven't experienced the wacky wonderful world of sleep smoking.
I used to spend time with a delightful woman who was excellent in many ways. It was just the "setting fire to the bed" bit that was a touch of a problem. One minute I'd be drifting off into a pleasant post-coital snooze; the next, the pillow would be in flames around my face.
"Hide the cigarettes." That's what she used to tell me before we went to sleep. Hide them, but where? On a tall shelf? In the bathroom? It didn't even matter. There'd be times when she lay there blissfully slumbering while trying to spark up an invisible ciggie.
Happy days, those. Would I wake up on fire or just be zipped up into a body bag? Would she manage to set fire to the duvet or the pillow? Or just singe most of her eyebrows off again? See, you have to have a little bit of variety in life.
(, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 17:15, Reply)
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