b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Sleepwalking » Page 27 | Search
This is a question Sleepwalking

A friend of mine once cooked an entire meal for two in her sleep, ate the lot and washed-up before going back to bed.
She has also awoken to find herself naked, on a fire escape in Fulham, confronted by two burly - and not to mention excitable - officers of the Metropolitan Police.

She doesn't even live in Fulham.

(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 22:21)
Pages: Latest, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, ... 1

This question is now closed.

RE: "were has all the white dog poo gone ?"
Apparently you don't see white dog poo so much these days because people don't give their dogs bones to eat any more.

b3ta: fun AND educational.
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 9:39, Reply)
B3ta's been outsourced to fucking Bangladesh has it?

We so sorry but no QOTW available at now current time....
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 9:38, Reply)
kill it now
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 9:12, Reply)
Once upon a time
a QOTW died, and it became a message board. Perhaps a /QOTW talk board should be introduced?
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 8:53, Reply)
Fuck me
Is this still going, or am I sleeping?
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 8:50, Reply)
Friday morning and still no new question of the week.

Given that this one actually started last Wednesday, maybe it should be renamed to "Question of the variable time period from typically 6 to 9 days, nominally centred on an approximate 7 day average".

Or is that too snappy?
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 8:24, Reply)
I'll sleep when I'm dead!
Apparently sleep disorders are hereditary. My grandmother was narcoleptic, and therefore refused to learn to drive. I have always known that, as a child, I would talk and sometimes walk around a litte in my sleep. Back then I actually slept - but I digress.

Now, thanks to the pharmaceutical wonder known as Ambien, I get to sleep most nights and wake up to find out what havoc I have wreaked during the 20 minutes it takes to kick in. It is normal to have amnesia from the period you took the drug until it gets in your system and you go to sleep.

Apparently I am a very good cook. Three course meals are not out of the ordinary. I once invited my neighbor to join me in trimming the hedges at 10:00 PM. Just as well he didn't join me. Got stung by an angry bee shortly thereafter. I also found out about some pretty random behaviours, such as tapping my bedmate on the shoulder and giggling, sucking my thumb (Which I SWORE I gave up thirty years ago!)

I have been able to pretty much make sure I don't drive like this. It's excruciatingly dangerous. If you don't believe me, ask my brother. He put over a hundred miles on his car one night. Yep, sound asleep.

Moral of the story: hide your car keys when you go to bed.
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 7:30, Reply)
I dreamt that I posted all manner of inane shite on the QOTW last night.

Oh. Hang on.....
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 6:47, Reply)
Sleepwalking? No. Please...
let this be the last post. It wouldn't be much of an accomplishment, but in a lifetime of none, achieves a higher status.
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 5:11, Reply)
There are lots of incidents of sleep-wanking...
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 4:27, Reply)
... I just woke up. Did I miss anything?
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 4:26, Reply)
Am I the last person to post on this topic? I have no sleep walking stories cos I'm waiting for the QOTW to change & I can't go to sleep until that happens.... damn OCD.
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 4:13, Reply)
i dreamt i was eating a chicken and woke up to find the pillow had dissapeared...up my chiuawawa's chuff box, so ate him as well. As my old granny used to say before she fell from her 15th floor flat and impailed her fanny on the railings "ask a shitey question and get a shitey answer", never a truer wurd sed in jest knees up muvver brahn, roll out the barrel, musn't grumble etc
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 3:53, Reply)

This happened in the lovely little town of Weymouth where there are reportedly more pubs per head of population than anywhere else in the UK.

I got drunk with a wuss Oz mate of mine called Jonty. Really drunk. He was working there as a lifeguard at the time, and was legendary for his lack-of-drinking ability. 8 pints of Fosters and 'where's me kangaroo, mate?'

Forearmed with this knowledge, I matched his every pint with 1 1/2 pints of Stella Artois. After all, there's no fun in being less drunk than the person you're drinking with.

He was lodging at a family's house at the time. To this day I don't know how many kids lived there, but there were at least 2. I had never met the family before nor been in the house, so imagine my surprise when I found myself completely without memory stood in an upstairs hallway of an unfamiliar house with a short, older man in front of me saying 'Where's you home mate? Where's your home?'

I duly got out of there as fast as I could, eventually got my bearings and found my way home and fell asleep, thinking that what I couldn't remember would stay that way.

How wrong was I?

Jonty rang me, interrupting my hang-over coma. He told me that I needed to do some serious apologising to do.

What had happened was Jonty had got really drunk, I offered to look after him, and he said it was ok for me to crash in his room, which I did. Then at some point during the night, I decided that I needed the toilet. But....I didn't know where it was on account of never being there before and never being shown where it was. So apparently I went for a slash in their bath.

Not satisfied with this humiliation, my drunken subconscious mind then told me to go back into bed. But because I was asleep, drunk and there were no lights on, I tried certain closed doors, fumbling for a while at their kid's bedroom door, waking them, then going through the nearest open door and tucking myself nicely into bed with the mother and father.

That was when the poor bloke woke up and steered me into the hallway, turned on the light and tried to talk some sense into me.

To this day I still marvel at the fact that the father didn't knock me out or something as I now have kids of my own, and would certainly brain any stranger drunken or not wandering around my house.

I guess it could've been worse, and got into bed with the kids. I shudder at the prospect that there is a parallel universe where this has actually happened.
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 1:46, Reply)
wow, I'd not read the final few responses to a qotw before
is that what it descends into? If that's the case, let me share a joke.

A woman has finished shopping at a supermarket, and puts down her shopping on the conveyor belt: A bunch of bananas, some carrots, a packet of beef, some bolegnese sauce and some pasta. The cashier takes one look at her shopping and one look at her and says "Wow, I bet you're single aren't you?". She says "Wow, did you guess that from my shopping?". He says "No, you're just ugly".
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 1:44, Reply)
(........is when you are dreaming about having fantastic sex but the alarm wakes you up before you finish. that is the WORST!

on a better note though, i did have fantastic sex last night. )

and now a fart joke:

A Lady walks into a Mercedes dealership. She browses around, then spots
the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine
leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks
around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes
a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns back, there standing
next to her is Andre a salesman.

"Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

He answers, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching
it, you are going to SHIT when you hear the price."
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 1:19, Reply)
i woke up from a vivid dream once
and was convinced I was in Mexico for about 30 seconds.

does that count?

too relevant? sorry i'm drunk and my mate just dropped a watermelon on my kitchen floor.
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 0:35, Reply)
i ate it

aorr- but my parents were cunts and i needeed to break freeeeeee............
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 0:30, Reply)
were has all the white dog poo gone ?
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 0:11, Reply)
It's officially Friday
And no new QOTW.
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 0:10, Reply)
I don't like sleep starts
They annoy me.
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 0:08, Reply)
Something NEARLY on topic, just to pass time:
I hate those oddly realistic dreams you sometimes get, the ones where you're certain that you're awake & doing things, like kicking the crap out of someone annoying, or getting paid & having a good time.
Then the alarm wakes you up, & you think "What the shit?" Or something along those lines...
(, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 23:59, Reply)
I believe so.
Maybe we should have a fun QOTW this week?
(, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 23:57, Reply)
Are the QOTW changing people dead?
(, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 23:49, Reply)
This QOTW has died now, can we have its funeral yet?
(, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 23:47, Reply)
In your head
Only in your head.

While asleep (just to bring this on topic...)
(, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 23:41, Reply)
is this wat the matrix is like
(, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 23:31, Reply)
Don't know
I'm not sure as I'm asleep already....

(, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 23:30, Reply)
Sorry to go back on topic
But does sleep posting the last QOTW answer count?
(, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 23:29, Reply)
Don't you throw that over your shoulder?

(, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 23:24, Reply)

This question is now closed.

Pages: Latest, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, ... 1