Piss
On the night of Monday the 9'th of July, 2007, a heinous crime was committed by an unspeakably sick person at the hour of 3am. I was woken from a drunken sleep by the sound of running water, and then the sound of walking feet. It was then I realised the terrible truth - someone had just pissed on my bedroom carpet, leaving me to mop up a warm puddle of urine. Was this out of malice, or simply a drunken mistake?

But who was it? In the house that night there was - in alphabetical order: Amy, Andy, Dan (me), Ed, and Mike (Ashby / Gashby - or indeed, Slashby?). The arguments to discovering the phantom pisser are varied, and outlined below, with a name, points against, and those for.

Amy:
A woman, therefore almost certainly penis-free. Alibi in the form of Andy.
The perfect crime. Drunk.

Andy:
Has an alibi in the form of Amy. Not drunk.
Left early in the morning - regretting an opportunistic attack?

Amy/Andy Combo Attack:
Motive?
Convenient alibis.

Dan:
Why would I piss in my own room? Went to the toilet for a huge wee after mopping up the one in my bedroom.
Drunk.

Ed:
-
Drunk. Previous record. Would do it if sober. Same movements needed to get to college toilet as that part of my room. Only person to claim to have not had a nocturnal wee, yet managed a good hour of bacon sandwich eating and Neighbours watching the following morning before heading to the shitter.

Slashby:
Sober (so he claims)
Name

What a conundrum.
(Merrep, Sat 25 Aug 2007, 23:23, Reply)