Pike
As a child I was obsessed with mother nature - finding fox skulls, birds nests, collecting anything that nature was done with, carefully labeling it and putting on display in my lab (otherwise known as "the spare room") One successful mission resulted in me finding a 2' long freshly dead pike. Apparently the local fishermen used to catch them and leave them on the banks to save the other nicer fish.

I trotted this pike home, and placed it carefully on the garage roof, to let the summer sun and flies do their business, and I would eventually be left with a perfect, complete pike skeleton to add to my collection.

I then, with a spectualar timing, went on a 2 week camping trip with the school cadets.

Upon my return, i discovered my parents were at their wits end - the house smelled generally rank - they had no idea why the bathroom (above the garage) smelled of dead bodies. There were flies everywhere, and a stench so pervasive they could barely sleep. My dad had torn apart the plumbing system trying to find a leak or blockage.

I guess my "ah, about that..." look gave it away.

Honestly - I don't recall the punishment -it was so horrendous I think I've blocked it from my memory, but I am sure it involved scrubbing the roof, walls, gutters and inside of the garage to remove the rancid fish juice and blowfly maggots.

The real punishment was that I never did get my skeleton.
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( gp_guineapig, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 19:29, 5 replies)

The last line makes me sad :o(
Excellent work, nonetheless.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 20:11, closed)

Good story.
Don't tell him Pike.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 21 Jan 2014, 20:33, closed)

+1

(McChinaman banned, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 22:58, closed)

Winner.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 20:38, closed)

Don't tell him what your name is Pike!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 22 Jan 2014, 7:43, closed)

please see above for accurate quotation.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 22 Jan 2014, 9:31, closed)

I look forward to the next chapter of Confessions of a Serial Killer.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 22 Jan 2014, 8:57, closed)