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This is a question Your first cigarette

To be honest, inhaling the fumes from some burning leaves isn't the most natural thing in the world.
Tell us about the first time. Where, when, and who were you trying to show off to?

Or, if you've never tried a cigarette, tell us something interesting on the subject of smoking.

Personally, I've never ever smoked a cigarette. Lung damage from pneumonia put me off.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 18:49)
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My first, and my last
I remember it well – I was in my late teens, and the relationship started, as many do, when I was drunk. She looked so alluring – long, slender, and blonde. How could I resist? The truth was I couldn’t. I was recently out of a serious relationship, and was feeling a bit battered and bruised by the experience. When she pressed herself to my lips, the experience was dizzying, electrifying… it took my breath away.

This was a new experience, and one that I quite liked. It made me feel liberated, somehow; carefree. More importantly, it took my mind off things, and I was grateful to her for that.

It was not to last. Whether it was because my head was somewhere else, I don’t know, but I awoke one afternoon to find that I wasn’t thinking about her anymore, and took it to be a sign that it was time to move on. For the next 13 or so years, I forgot all about my short but tender experience. That is, until my marriage crumbled around me, and I became a pale, nervous shadow of my former self. For two months I could barely face anyone, until one day resolve took hold of me, gave me a much needed slap and forced me to have a good look at myself. I straightened myself out, and took a friend up on his offer of “anytime you fancy a pint, just ring”.

So at 5:30pm, on a Tuesday evening, I did just that. Conceding the point that 5:30 on a Tuesday was a bit early, we met some 3 hours later, and drank and talked and laughed. I felt relieved at facing the world again, and found myself enjoying the company, but the return to an empty house served only to plunge me back into a pit of misery. The next day she walked mysteriously back into my life. Only this time, she was no longer blonde, but a kind of light brown with highlights. It suited her.

We took up exactly where we left off – not a word was spoken between us. There didn’t have to be, and for a few months I took comfort in her. Then, as suddenly as before, she was gone, and I thought no more of it. But then, I did have other things to consider, such as setting up temporarily in a flat of my own, whilst also looking for somewhere to buy. And so another year or so passed without a thought of my slender companion, until one night she was thrust upon me once more. This time it was different though, as we only saw each other at weekends – I was going to savour her companionship, give myself something to look forward to. It was OK, for a while, but I found myself missing her, and would sneak her into my house midweek, then one more day, and another… My friends grew concerned. Soon, she was even following me to work, where we’d sneak off to a small room a couple of times a day (she had reverted to being blonde by this point). The small room was available to us for about a year, until we were forced out by some Health and Safety nonsense, and we found ourselves taking refuge outside, at the end of the building.

My friends continued to warn me about her, but I didn’t listen. You don’t in these circumstances, do you? I was blind to what was happening to me, often found myself scraping a fiver together so I could see her again. When I look back now, that was pretty desperate. However, only a few days ago, it hit me, out of the blue – she was fleecing me of about £120 a month. It would go missing from my bank account, just small amounts at a time, so I wouldn’t notice until suddenly I was into the overdraft. And I realised that she wasn’t good for me. The strain of her company was starting to get to me, and I was having difficulty in sleeping. My mouth became dry, and I couldn’t taste things in the same way. And I realised that she had become a habit, devoid of any enjoyment. The bitter taste I had felt after her last kiss told me that it was time to walk away.

So, on Monday night, I pressed her to my lips one last time. “This isn’t working”, I whispered to her, my breath catching on the cold night air as I did so. With that, the last dying flame of our passion went out, and as I turned on my heel and closed the door, we said goodbye forever…
(, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 10:37, 14 replies)
(, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 10:42, closed)
That was good
Only a true smoker could write of the relationship so well. Don't kid yourself - she'll sneak back, she always does.
(, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 10:44, closed)
It is a love affair that will kill you in the end.
(, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 10:46, closed)
*clicks like a ruddy mad thing!*
(, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 11:28, closed)
(, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 11:28, closed)
Very nice.
As the QOTW goes on, I like seeing how peoples' writing has improved. It's gone from responding with snappy one-liners and fast jokes to longer, more personal stories with good imagery and narration. This one is a prime example- very well written indeed.

(, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 11:39, closed)
^^ Ta muchly
I have cheated a bit by combining two tales already posted this week, but I was thinking about this last night and had a bit more time and effort to put into it...

So far, I haven't bitten anyone's head off yet either, some 38 hours after my last drag... If my responses to next week's question appear more vitriolic than usual, you'll know why.. :-)
(, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 11:51, closed)
The lack of lady Nic
Is obviously stimulating the creative brain-bits.

Personally, I feel like a discarded wank-sock just from cutting down.

Hey ho, only 2 so far today.


*hurts other people's pets*
(, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 13:19, closed)
The lack of Lady Nic kept me awake most of the bloody night. During the points I did snatch some sleep, I got dreaming about some mysterious book where the first 4 pages were missing, but which had the ability to render any reader into a hypnotic trance-like state where time shifted forward by about 3 hours. Further research (in my dream, obviously) revealed the books' author to be some kind of chrono-vampire who fed on your own personal timeline through the power of words to grow stronger...

I kid you not. I need a new scriptwriter.
(, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 13:27, closed)
Just remember...
One day soon you will take a breath in and it will last longer than 2 seconds. You will inhale the air and it will seem like your breathing in forever and the air will seem sweeter and fresher and lifegiving.

Sorry! but it will.
(, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 14:10, closed)
(, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 14:11, closed)
Bugger me, Davros....
You've given me a dichotomy of desires......
Not sure whether I fancy a fag ar a wank now!

*EDIT* 4.26pm in the geordie house:
being greedy as I am, I did both :o)
(, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 14:19, closed)
Very good.
(, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 15:32, closed)
Excellent sir!!
Makes you wonder whether the "this question sucks" brigade actually read anything when stuff like this crops up.

Clicky indeed.
(, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 18:42, closed)

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