There's a bloke I went to high school with then didn't see again for 20 years. thanks to the magic of facebook. I'm now am well informed of the following:
His wife is back with the crystal-meth dealer. She's a horrible skank who doesn't care about their three lovely kids.
It's hard bringing up 3 kids alone, but at least he cares about them.
His wife is finally free of that bastard dealer. He thinks they can really make it work this time.
Everything is great. Family is important.
He can't believe that the druggie skank wife of his is back with the dealer. She is even more awful than he first thought.
It's hard bringing up 3 kids alone, but at least he cares about them.
His kid was sick but his druggie skank wife doesn't even care
He is going to court to get custody. Finally the kids can be free of their druggie skank mother who doesn't care about them.
He can't believe the fucking court system is making them share custody.
His kids are at his druggie skank wife and he fears for their safety.
His druggie skank wife doesn't contribute anything towards the kids upbringing.
It's hard bringing up 3 kids alone, but at least he cares about them.
and so on.
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 20:25, 25 replies)

He could write some sort of script for this, which would just loop back to the start after posting one line per week.
It'd give him more time with his kids.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 20:28, closed)

It's true
at first I found his regular public revelations sad but hilarious, like watching a mexican soap opera via twitter updates. Now it just seems sad and repetitive, like watching mexican soap opera reruns via twitter updates
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 20:35, closed)

Facebook is a load of old shit if you have the wrong people on there.
I might be regarded as some kind of heartless cunt for this, but a while back I unfriended someone from work who, to be honest, I didn't speak to too much and I suspected of being one of these friend collectors (working in a shop with 200+ employees, over half of which had been added). She lost her baby late in her pregnancy, and thereafter followed twenty or more status updates EVERY FUCKING DAY for the first six months, covering everything from repeated invites to sign up for various WIV DA ANGLES pages and going on about how she could see no point in living any longer. Don't know how many years she kept it up for because I lost patience with it after the first six months as every else's posts were being buried under an avalanche of this shit.

I had every sympathy with her, although I've never lost a child and hope to never experience it either, it must be one of the most devastating things anyone could ever go through. But for fuck's sake, if her life was anything like her social media updates, she'd given up anything and everything else and was devoting herself purely to very, VERY public grief, talking about how beautiful her unborn baby had been and how nothing else in the world (for everyone else too, not just her) had any meaning now.

tl;dr Girl feels sorry for self in public for ever and ever, gets unfriended
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 20:51, closed)

I know how you feel
I told some guy whose child had just died to grow a pair, too.
(McChinaman banned, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 21:06, closed)

To grow a pair of children?
In pots, in the greenhouse?

You're one of THEM, aren't you?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 21:22, closed)

that's a big shop

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 21:27, closed)

About 125 of those are part time, some do as little as 6 hours a week in a store that's open for about 85.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 21:32, closed)

one of those key cutting/shoe repair shops, then?

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 21:42, closed)

Maybe he should have thought about this before he had 3 kids with a meth-head.
Basically it's all entirely his own fault and he should kill himself.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 20:37, closed)

It's you, isn't it?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 20:42, closed)

Oh Shams
only you can hear my cry for help
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 21:22, closed)

U ok babez/

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 21:28, closed)

just takin it 1 day at a time
cept wenzday, where I do 3 days at once then off to the pub
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 21:41, closed)

Where's Monty tonight?

(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 21:44, closed)

Would've had more impact if you'd
said "Where is Monty tonight?" which makes it seem as tho you're asking in reference to the post - otherwise it just seems as tho you're using this thread as a place to inquire as to Monty's whereabouts.

EDITED for gvyp - 'cause I really didn't think there was anyone out there thicker than Rory. Guess what, I was wrong.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 20 Jun 2013, 22:16, closed)

He did say that, but he used an apostrophe.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 22:48, closed)

Oh shi.....

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 20 Jun 2013, 23:20, closed)

Your lack of communication skills is not my problem.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 20 Jun 2013, 23:57, closed)

That Joanna, eh?
She really is a STUPID HEARTLESS BITCH.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 9:42, closed)

Poor cunt sounds like he's drowning
2 kids, a loyal wife and an absense of meth dealers still nearly burnt me out. Perhaps pointing and laughing is not the best that could be offered.
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 9:48, closed)

no doubt his life is spectacularly fucked up
It's more the constant documenting of it to group of people who are essentially strangers that's risible
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 12:47, closed)

risible?
Maybe, however risible it seems to you, it helps him in some way. Also, it helps you feel all superior and non-risible (apparently), so isn't that another good thing?
(haberman is singing in the changes, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 13:24, closed)

ible
LOLOL
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:29, closed)

I'm reminded of this from the Tall Guy
Ron Anderson: Listen, Dexter, is there something troubling you? Something that you would like to talk to someone about?

Dexter: Well, yes, as a matter of fact there is...

Ron Anderson: Then for fuck's sake talk to someone about it, will you? And sort it out before I sack you and hire a lobotomized monkey to play your role. Okay?


*edit* funny is easier isn't it? I know less than fuck all about any of this but if I had to describe family hell, it would sound like the OP
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 13:48, closed)

I didn't know you knew my sister in law!

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 22 Jun 2013, 3:31, closed)