My Uncle, Aunty & Cousins
It was my 21st birthday this September, I got a handful of birthday cards, and a couple of gifts off my family and close friends (gifts of close friends included many pints and shots in the bar ^_^ oh, and a can of Special Brew, aaah, that golden can of chaos)

I've never been spoilt really in my life, yeah sure, my Nanna and Grandad on my Dads side would spoil me rotten as a kid, but it was once a week when I would go to their bungalow and I would be sent off home with 50p pocket money when I was really young, a "goodie bag" containing a handful of miniature mars bars and such, and an Enid Blyton book (I was so chuffed to bits when I got The Faraway Tree trilogy!!) and when I got older, my pocket money would increase due to inflation (Hubble Bubble bubble gum, going up from 2p to 5p, the shopkeepers may as well have just worn a black and white stripy jumper and carry a swag bag) to about £10 when I was older, until I got myself a job at 16.

This is completely irrelevant, I'm just showing what a good upstanding citizen I am, and that I take nothing for granted in my life, I work hard, and I feel terrible if someone thinks I take something for granted, and try to remedy it asap!

So yes, back to the beginning of my, by now, tediously long and boring post...

I turned 21 on 3rd September, two cards I would have expected never arrived.

A card off my grandparents in Ireland, they sent it, but it got lost in the post, it's happened before, and it will happen again, but they phoned up on my birthday and apologised and had a good old chinwag with me.

The other card that I expected but never arrived was one off my Uncle and his revolting spoilt offspring. (Oh, except the eldest, I haven't spoken to him for ages, but last I knew he had worked hard to get where he was, and is a lovely guy!)

There was no phonecall apologising about forgetting, they only live in Bolton, and I'm in Blackpool, so the chances of it getting lost in the post are lessened. It took about two weeks later, in a phonecall with my Dad, when he asked them why I didn't get a card, and he just casually said "I forgot".

This wouldn't have been a problem, if it was not for his two horrid spoilt bitch of daughters, who whenever they have a birthday coming up, my uncle and aunty phone my dad up to remind him it's their birthday, and that he better not forget to get them a card.

And when my dad forgot one of my cousins 23rd birthday, anyone would have thought he'd jumped on the table at their house on Christmas day and performed a strip tease *EWWW DO NOT WANT... BAD IMAGES... MUST... THINK... OF... NICE... THINGS* and then proceeded to piss on their roast pheasant.

My aunty went fucking apeshit, absolute ballistic.

When my dad told them he wasn't too impressed about them forgetting an important birthday like my 21st, they just said "It's just a birthday, it's nowt important"

...cunts

Apologies for a tedious story, if I was part of the b3ta clique, I'd do one of those length jokes, but I wouldn't know where to start... I just wanted somewhere to vent
(Multi-Coloured Pop Shop "twat with a ukulele", Thu 9 Oct 2008, 17:52, 10 replies)

I'll bloomin' clique-you in a minute.
See what I did there? It's champagne, innit?

Happy belated 21st and all that.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 18:01, closed)

OIC WAT U DID THUR!
And cheers for the birthday wishes... BELATED THOUGH, COULD YOU NOT GET IT ON TIME?

AND WHERE IS MY SCALECTRIX?

I WANT A DOCTOR WHO TARDIS TOY TOO

*sulks*
(Multi-Coloured Pop Shop "twat with a ukulele", Thu 9 Oct 2008, 18:03, closed)

FUCK OFF
Eat shit and die, you verminous spacktacle of cock. ;)

Fancy a hairy titwank?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 18:07, closed)

Hairy titwanks
HAIRY TITWANKS?!?!

IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH... I DEMAND THE FINEST TITWANK THIS SIDE OF THE ATLANTIC OCEAN, AND NO HAIRYNESS EITHER...

AND CAKE
(Multi-Coloured Pop Shop "twat with a ukulele", Thu 9 Oct 2008, 18:10, closed)

Hairy titwanks
is all I have to offer. I ain't shaving my boobies for no man.

Cake would be nice though, anyone got any Jamaica Ginger cake...?

EDIT I just asked my Mrs to bring me Jamaica Ginger cake, she's never even tried it. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WORLD?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 18:12, closed)

No
She can bloody well make it herself

aaaaaaaaaahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahhaha

*breathes*
(Multi-Coloured Pop Shop "twat with a ukulele", Thu 9 Oct 2008, 18:16, closed)

NEVER TRIED IT!
THAT'S FUCKING LUDICROUS!!!! WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINK SHE IS NEVER TRYING JAMAICAN GINGER CAKE!!!!

Do you spread a thick layer of butter on it or eat it plain?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 18:50, closed)

How big is your vent?

( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 18:09, closed)

Umm... depends
What have you got planned?
(Multi-Coloured Pop Shop "twat with a ukulele", Thu 9 Oct 2008, 18:11, closed)

Length.
Bolton to Blackpool, 40.2 miles, about 54 mins.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 9 Oct 2008, 21:37, closed)