repost from Kids QTOW :
I gave up on swimming lessons as a child after the pool had to be evacuated for the third consecutive day because of floating turds.

I cant spark a fag in the pub, but I get to be surrounded by sprogs every sunday in 'spoons.

I have to carry around pointless forms of ID. It is my right as a UK citizen to never have to have a means of Identity on my person. Yet I am forced to as the teenager on the checkout cant be trusted to use common sense to differentiate between a purchase of WKD with pocket money change and a purchase of a single malt with a visa card. This all because the mollycoddles of today cant handle their drink.

They have hours of inane shit devoted to them on tv while all the good stuff gets pushed up to late for me to watch (I have an early start most days) as it might corrupt them.

I have to verify my age evry fucking time I want to veiw a youtube link from /links

They are getting so fat, so all the good bus seats are taken and the goverment is trying to tax chips now.

they hang around the library and pester you for fags.

they turn your mates into simpering idiots.

They have parents who think that the 'miracle of birth' gives them the right to barge in front of ANY queue and tut-tut anytime you say fuck/shit/bugger even if you are amongst a group of adults.

Child tax credits. mr darling can keep the income tax high for low income people as long as the breeders get a discount. Meanwhile the well off are paying less tax.

Well off peoples kids. There is nothing like the toffee nosed bastard spawn of the rich to aid the spread of communism. the next time I see a 'yummy mummy' pull her planet fucking SUV , paid for by a weekly newspaper article about organic hummus, tear into the mother and child section of a car park I will personally melt it down and turn it into tractors and lada's.

Roads. The school run brings traffic to a standstill In Hull. This is made worse by the council turning about 60% of the city into a 20mph zone with fucking speed bumps every 2m
_______________________________________________

The whole world is being changed for 'the kids' no wonder the little shits think the sun shines out of their arse.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 12 Oct 2008, 22:06, 14 replies)

nice rant
I like your way of thinking and would like to subscribe to your newsletter

*salutes*

(Note: rereading this makes me think the tone is sarcastic. This is not the case)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sun 12 Oct 2008, 22:33, closed)

I want to start up a blog
but I always thought no-one would read it
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 12 Oct 2008, 22:34, closed)

"I cant spark a fag in the pub, but I get to be surrounded by sprogs every sunday in 'spoons."

Try drinking somewhere else perhaps?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 7:42, closed)

Floating turds,
yup, I worked at a gym with three pools, one of which was for kids/non-swimmers.

There were regular mother and baby swimming sessions, after which the pool was often closed for the day because little Henry or Tamara's mother hadn't bothered to put them in swimmimng nappies and they'd crapped.

One little baby-poo goes a long way. It would take 12 hours or more to filter it out, AFTER the hapless attendant had netted the more obvious 'pool plaice' (they tend to sink.)
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:15, closed)

Couldn't you fine them?
I mean it's put your pool out of commission just because someone's kids dropped their kids off at the pool.
So I guess this means the parent's dropped their grandkids off at a the pool.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:25, closed)

20mph zones
WHAT IS THE BLOODY POINT?!
Back "when I were a lad" (started school in 1990) we were told to "stop, look, listen" and later "stop, look, listen, Live!".
You stop, look both ways to make sure it's safe to cross, listen for traffic you might not have seen and if it's safe you cross. Good advice that's probably saved millions of lives more than just letting them mill about in the road with traffic doing 20mph.
20mph zones just let the little shits learn that they can safely run over roads without looking- which is a bloody dangerous mindset to get into!

As for speed bumps, these are car-damaging devilspawn even at the speed limit. You try doing 20 over a 20mphs area's speed bump- your car will be in the garage sans suspension within a week.

It pisses me off even more to hear them as "slowing cars down- so it's greener". So you've got the extra power required and hot air generated during the planning meetings. Then the diesel to move all that tarmac (and a crew of 200, none of who you'll ever see doing any work) from a depot to the spot where they want a speed bump. Lay tarmac.
You're then making cars last for a shorter time- and for that shorter time forcing them to accellerate and brake far more often. So it's as green as forcing everyone to buy a Cayenne.

Oh, and buying a bottle of single malt or other "buy it for the taste/smell/etc" drinks shouldn't require ID. You're not going to just down it by the bottle at that price- and if you waste a good single malt like that you should be shot anyway...

*coughs* Sorry for the rant. I just get wound up.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:37, closed)

Is it me?
But I thought cars were more fuel efficient at higher speeds in high gears (looking at the urban and extra urban consumption figures). So 20mph limits surely make cars perform worse? Especially those with speed bumps as slowing down and speeding up all the time uses more fuel than keeping at a constant speed. I may be wrong on this, please correct me if so.

And personally anyone stupid enough to mill around in the road deserves to get run over. I believe this should come under 'natural selection'.

And yes! Let's melt all the Chelsea tractors down! (Unless you are a farmer or such like that actually does need a 4x4). Force all the mums to drive their offspring to school in metros (hey, it worked for my mum and dad) or matizs or something else hugely underpowered.
( VandenPlas can't think of anything clever - no change there!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 9:48, closed)

Re: car engines...
I believe so. They have a sort of "optimum" speed, which is usually around motorway speeds, where the engine runs most efficiently. So it is actually less efficient to drive at 20mph.

However, I don't know how much difference there is in efficiency between driving at 20mph and driving at 30mph. There's probably a way of working it out but that would require me to start trawling wikipedia.

I'm also with y'all on melting down the Chelsea tractors (vulgar, fuel-hungry totems to narcissistic excess that they are). But let's force the flabby little to walk to school. Or, if it's really that far, would it kill them to have to share a bus with all those "common" folk?

Grrrrr
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:29, closed)

Good point
I hasten to add, I used to walk to school. The metro was for long journeys (the joys of a family of four plus a sodding huge tent going to Norfolk in a tiny car ^_^)

Can you imagine all those little kids trying to *walk* to school? Surely their little limbs will be atrophied with all the carting around and no exercise.
( VandenPlas can't think of anything clever - no change there!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:55, closed)

It's not so much
a difference in efficiency between 30mph and 20mph- that's probably negligable.

It's between doing 20 and having to slow to 5mph EVERY FREAKING 50 FEET! You can't sit at 5mph or you get honked at- and don't really get anywhere anyway.

Increasing 1 tonne (1000kg) from 5 to 20mph means 20kJ of energy is burnt. Now given a 20% efficiency of engine that means about 100kJ of energy is wasted for every speed bump. So on a 10 speed bump road, each trip of each car wastes 0.02kWh of energy. Think how many cars go down your road, multiply the 0.02 by that number, then double that as they'll come home at the end of the day too. The speed bumps on a long residential street could waste as much energy just in use- never mind extra maintanence etc- as a whole other car doing 20.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:47, closed)

The Green Cross Code Man
Some of you may remember that the mega-entity that is David Prowse, as well as being the figure but not the voice behind Darth Vader was also an even bigger star as the Green Cross Code Man on British telly during the seventies and eighties. Indeed, it was he himself who coined the phrase "Stop, look, listen" that was drummed into the children of my epoch on a daily basis.

A few months ago, I heard him in interview on Radio 4 talking about how road safety campaigns had changed over the last 15 years or so. I say talking, but more like ranting loudly, and I agreed with everything he had to say.

In general, his point was that the emphasis on road safety had shifted in a none-too-subtle way that was indicative of 'childrens' (see: Hoodie Scumbags) changing attitudes, and possible a fundamental cause of said change.

In His Mighty Era as GCCM, he had tutored children all over the country (he and Tufty the Squirrel, who never had the same appeal), telling them to stop,look and listen, but NOW the campaign was aimed at the DRIVERS - "Kill your speed, not a child!" - this was effectively telling the kids "If you get hit by a car, it's not YOUR fault for being a twunt* and not paying attention, it's the drivers fault!"

In my not-so-humble-opinion this coddling** of children is *exactly* the problem with our so-called society. We tell them that they have all of the rights but none of the responsibility and they simply believe us.

All hail to GCCM and his ineffable wisdom!

*He probably didn't use the word 'twunt', but this was radio 4 and he might've got away with it.

**I won't say 'molly-coddling' as that would be most offensive to the MrsEffinDoubt.
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 17:09, closed)

20 zones.
Pah!

'If you hit me at 40 miles pe.. blah blah'

GET OUT OF THE ROAD.

Nice rant by the way.
(Scrumpy does not negotiate with terrorists,, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:28, closed)

If you hit me at 40mph
I won't be in a fit state to testify against you.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:31, closed)

Hmm...
What an interesting thought. I shall have to try it out on the local chav sprogs.
( VandenPlas can't think of anything clever - no change there!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:56, closed)