My fault
Once again this is a tale caused by the fact that I seem to be possessed by the spirit of Adam Sandler.

I had this friend who lived in Turkey and she told me one day that she was moving to Canterbury to start uni. However, she had no idea how to get there from London, didn't know anyone there and had absolutely no contacts in England. Canterbury is only 15 minutes up the road from me and so I said I'd meet her at the airport, take her back to Canterbury and look after her for a few weeks until she was all settled in etc.

So one morning I head up to London with rather a nasty bout of flu. By the time I get there I am sweatier than any human has ever been, ever. In a slight state of delerium and dehydration, I escort her to the coach station (carrying her bags), get her down to Canterbury where she had booked a B&B for the first night, since her accommodation didn't start until the day after. Thankfully she let me stop there a couple of hours so I could rest up.

Anyhoo, for the next 3 weeks I went to see her nearly every day. I cooked for her (since for some reason she was living off pre packed sandwiches), got her joined up to the library, showed her where the supermarkets were, showed her round campus, even took her back up to London so she could sort some stuff out with the Turkish embassy. Basically anything she asked for, I provided, safe in the knowledge that I was doing something good in life which would maybe atone for the countless horrible things I'd done.

Then she cut contact for 2 weeks. I was a bit worried since she was having some issues with another girl on her course, she was still not really settled. One day my phone beeps and it's her, telling me she's ok. I ask where she'd been as I'd been worried about her. The following text said: "I have boyfriend now, so I have no use for you any more".

Still, I got the last laugh. Her name was Gizem.
(GONEism, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 20:14, 10 replies)

Fuck!
That is so harsh. She definitely would have benefited from a slap across the face with *breathtaking* force.

Not that I would advocate such an approach.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 20:38, closed)

D'you think the final text might've been a pidgin English
stab at 'I will from now on bother the boyf and not waste any more of your valuable time'?
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 20:40, closed)

A nice thought
but she'd blocked me on msn, and I'd never complained about helping her. Your optimisim however is much appreciated in this dark time of economic crisis.
(GONEism, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 20:47, closed)

darn
Didnt you at least smash it once?
(Miggyman, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 20:49, closed)

Whilst I don't have many standards with women
I do steer clear of the ones with more facial hair than me.
(GONEism, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 20:50, closed)

Aw!
I think little 'love whiskers' are adorable on foreign girls. Hey, at least it proves that they are old enough.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 20:54, closed)

Click...
...just for the name! Brilliant! Shame you didn't nail her, facial hair or otherwise.
(Fucksticks, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 21:46, closed)

Same here
Although I did have to explain to my GF what Gizum is and why I was laughing so hard...
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 21:40, closed)

A mate once porked a Turkish lass
He was as chuffed as a dog with 2 cocks when he told us.

We took the piss out of him relentlessly about it.

"Was she quite hirsute?" I enquired.

"No she wasn't you cheeky bastard, she was top notch."

"What was her name then?"

"Doygoo" he replied.

"You what? Coypu did you say?"

Of course a Coypu is a large type of the beaver. He gave up trying to defend himself after that.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 14 Oct 2008, 0:03, closed)

You weren't really helping her.
You were trying to get in her grundies.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:04, closed)