and then, when I looked around
there was a cup of coffee my Mum had brought in.

What?! wanking is a sport for us pasty-faced shut-ins, isn't it? now there's an Olympics event I really, really wouldn't want to see.
(RTFM May your god go with you, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 10:07, 10 replies)

mixed doubles.
There's a shit load of professional mixed doubles wanking footage out there if you look for it.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 10:23, closed)

provided that the rules
of this new 'sport' are the traditional 'first to finish', then I'd like to put myself forward for Team GB
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 10:41, closed)

It was a cup of
tea, you imbecile!
(username failed moderation, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 10:47, closed)

None taken
...and I don't drink tea
(RTFM May your god go with you, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 11:00, closed)

How would you know?
Wait, are you RTFM's mum?
(King Nightmare, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:55, closed)

The steroids
I got off the internet were rubbish.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 10:59, closed)

Danger wanking
should be in Teh Olympics.

Marks given for style, difficulty and accuracy of shot to finish.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:19, closed)

http://www.facebook.com/groups/2249913208/

( lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 12:43, closed)

Wanking competitions are confusing.
The last time I entered one, I came last. Which meant I finished first.
( Muns, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:39, closed)

Doesn't that mean you ate the biscuit?

(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 24 Apr 2012, 18:09, closed)