Im a stalker
Well not intentionally I assure you.

I have two very disturbing tales to tell. So grab a coffee, put your feet up, get your hankies out and begin the read.

At a mere age of 17, young and stupid. I had completely fallen in love with a girl. She was my first love, and I was besotted with her. I had a weakness, and that was I became even more besotted with someone if I felt they needed my help. And wow this girl needed help.. Seriously! I saw myself as some sort of saviour to her.

She told me about tales of past abuse, and unfortunate events. Some harrowing accounts of rape, violence and bullying against her. That left her feeling rather depressed, suicidal and generally fucked up. It became apparent that these tales of the past may actually still be in the present. She told me of a family member who was apparently financially supporting her parents was still requiring sexual favours from her. He bullied her if she didn’t do as he wanted, and there were instances Id meet her and she would be bruised or hurt in someway.

Well I needed to find out who this punk ass was.

She wouldn’t disclose where he lived as my interference would properly fuck things up for her and the rest of the family and my own life would even be in jeopardy. But I’m sorry I'm not having someone whom I love going through ordeals like that. However I did find out that he was in walk able distance from her house. As he would sometimes call upon her in the middle of the night, for repayment services.

She would tell me that she had to go round to his some nights. And each time she said that, Id set up camp outside her house, in the hope of spotting her going, following and finding out where this geezer lived. With a quick mobile call to my friends, we were all ready with baseball bats and the lot to teach this guy a lesson. Oh I was ready for war.

Funnily enough, she never did leave the house during the night. And when I quizzed her about this she threatened to go to the police as apparently I was stalking her! She quickly changed the subject of why she didn’t go, to blaming me for stalking her.

It then all became apparent. The bitch lied about the whole thing. Funnily enough though, I wasn’t pissed off. I was relieved. Stayed with her for another two years though before she used up all my resources and moved on.




Next up, is another story of love. Which also occurred many years ago when I was young and stupid. Where I inadvertently managed to stalk a girl whom I happened to notice got on the same commuter train as me. I don't know what it was about her, but for some reason my heart started pounding when she got on. I'd pray she'd sit near me. And when she did, she'd sit there looking all lovely and read a book all journey and get off the train at her destination.

I never had the bottle to try talking to her. But over the 18 months of her getting the same train, I learnt so much about her it was unbelievable. I would "overhear" her phone conversations. Knew exactly where she worked, learnt stupid facts like she had an older sister who had kids. Little things like that. But never actually found out her name.
There's an etiquette on British commuter trains, and that is people generally don’t spark up conversations with strangers. I saw loads of people day after day but no one ever spoke to each other. Sad really. But that’s the way it was, so it just made it really really hard to get into conversation. I kept wishing the train would break down or some other incident would happen to break the ice. But it never did.

For all I knew she was married with kids. She was good looking and dressed well, so I’m sure she wasn’t short in offers from guys.

But having spent a journey with her in eye shot, I used to get off the train wanting to tear the walls down with my teeth. I dreamt about her so many times that we knew each other and was talking. I was totally fascinated in someone who'd I'd never even spoke to. I searched the internet for her as well. The song, Jameilia Superstar used to remind me of her. (And still does!)

To this day that girl will never know that for 18 months there was a guy on the train that would have done anything for her. I was in love. I’ve never before just happened to see someone and suddenly get strange feelings like that.

I do feel I kinda stalked her in a way. I learnt which carriage she would go to, and made sure I matched. I just wanted to get to know her. But never did. Eventually I changed jobs and eventually she started fading from my mind. Even years later Id still have the odd dream about her though.

Why didn't I just say hello?
(Miggyman, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 17:21, 5 replies)

Why you perhaps shouldn't have spoken to her...
Coupling, series 2: "The man with two legs."

(However, you're probably better at the whole conversation-with-strangers thing than I am, so the analogy is probably less than perfect)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 17:56, closed)

Regarding your second story...
...I've been there.

The trouble is that you build her up so much that the reality could never compete. Maybe that's sour grapes, but it's still best left as a nice distraction while you're doing something boring. Office fantasy, anyone?

Besides, if you ever got involved with someone in those circumstances, you'd have to keep it to yourself that you had admired her from afar for, (in your example) 18 months as it's more likely she'd find that creepy than sweet!
(Guizmeaux, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 18:26, closed)

Aaaah.
I flipping love stories like this (the second one obviously, not the one about the meanie who used all your resources). It really makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, and it confirms my belief that everyone has someone out there who likes them from a distance. I like to remind myself of that when I'm feeling down and it makes me lift my head up that little bit more whilst going about my life!

/soppy rant about life beliefs over now. i promise.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 18:52, closed)

Was the girl in the first story called Mel, by any chance?
I think I've had her, and it's reminded me of a story of my own for this QOTW.
( Shegetz Chris Kamara's comedy moustache, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 22:48, closed)

Unbelievably similar...
I absolutely salute you. (Not the first story)

The second one is so similar (fucking uncanny actually) to what I went through a year or so back that it almost could have been me writing your post. Reading it, I was picturing in my minds eye what I went through. I don’t think about her much any more, until I just read your post.

I actually plucked up the courage to start a conversation one day. I saw my opportunity and took it. Ironically when a train broke down.

From there over the next few months, we learnt each others names and a bit about what each other did, where we lived, bits and pieces about each others families. Asked her out for lunch a few times, she was always busy… Bad luck on my behalf? Or was she letting me down gently? Probably. From our chats I understand she was still a little shaken up about a long term relationship she’d not long come out of…

I now drive to work as I got another job very shortly afterwards.

No further details forthcoming sorry. Keeping this one to myself but I know what you went through brother…

Regarding the train etiquette though and the accusations of being a stalker (which I went over a million times to myself in my head as I thought I’d come across as a weirdo), I still had to do something about it, cause I would have regretted never seeing if there was anything there between us. I don’t regret it. I tell myself at least I had a go and no harm was done…
(jaymierobber, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 11:41, closed)