Email hacking! Divorce! Daleks! Tourette's! Happy ever after!
Would hacking into my ex-wife’s email account while we were still married count?

To be fair, it was just after we had split. And it was just the once. Despite her protestations to the contrary, I wasn’t totally convinced that there wasn’t someone else involved. But every time I confronted her, she would just clam up (thus contributing further to my emotional turmoil and overall feelings of ill ease). I’d hit a particularly low point by this time, and sharing the same living space wasn’t really helping. Whilst I wasn’t exactly sure of her email password, I had a pretty certain idea of what it may well be. Figuring I had three attempts, I waited for her to go out, and switched on our computer.

Bingo. First attempt took me straight into her account. I nervously scrolled down the page, looking for any subject titles that may prove to be vaguely incriminating, and found something from one of her mates titled ‘hang in there’. My finger hovered over the mouse. Should I? Shouldn’t I? What would I do if I read something I probably didn’t want to? Would I feel better, or worse?

‘Click’. Sheer adrenalin had taken over by this point. As I sat there reading the chain of correspondence, I could feel my stomach churning, and as the messages proved what I had dreaded, I sat there, numb. I switched off, and went to bed, trembling. I got very little, if any, sleep that night, as I contemplated what to do next.

It’s fair to say that this development greatly affected my direction over the next few years, and, it has to be said, for the better. For example:

• After an initial wobble period where my self esteem plummeted like a BA ‘plane with engine failure, I became a much more confident person (especially after I moved out and got some independence back).
• It pushed me into making decisions I probably wouldn’t have done if we’d stayed together (such as career wise).
• I was finally able to buy myself a full size Dalek, something I’d half joked about but didn’t really think I would be able to do. (Yes, you read that right).
• I made some bloody good friends during the next few years, which led to
• Meeting the sweary other half, which in turn led to
• Meeting Legless randomly in a pub one Sunday afternoon in January, which led to
• Being introduced to B3ta.

So, for anyone out there that doesn’t particularly care for my writing, you can lay the blame squarely at the feet of my ex wife. I take absolutely no responsibility…

I'd also like to say that I'm not particularly proud of invading her privacy like that, but in view of what she did I think it's slightly the lesser evil. And look at how it turned out!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 31 Jan 2008, 17:44, 10 replies)

Eh!?
Hi there,
from reading this story you appear to be me!

Apart from the full-size dalek and meeting Legless of course.

Have fun!
Captain Placid
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 17:51, closed)

Oddly enough
there's a lot of us about, it seems (minus the Dalek). i've just been gazzed by another user who said almost exactly the same thing.

Maybe a sub-b3ta email hackers relationship-down-the-toilet club could be formed...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 31 Jan 2008, 17:58, closed)

Good for you.
This is the first time I have ever heard of a situation where reading someone else's mail has had a genuinely positive outcome, (if only because it bolstered what you already knew or suspected).

Incidentally, when I was at school in Acton, we had a Dr. Who themed day (for reasons that escape me - I think it was just before the summer holidays). I got to ride around inside a proper BBC prop Dalek for the entire day, wandering around the halls doing a cheesy impression. "Ejaculate-ejaculate!". Impressive as it was from the outside, on the inside it was like being in a tiny little wooden sauna, but without a naked blonde to keep me company.
(Guizmeaux, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 18:39, closed)

I think its lovely
Yay and woo for a positive outcome of a terrible situation.
And I love the description of a "sweary other half", sounds so much more loveable and fun than a cheating wife. I hope thats how Mr. Van Pelt refers to me!
And obviously anything that brings you to B3ta can only be a good thing!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 18:47, closed)

Cheers everyone
I would like to point out that I don't bear any malice towards her. We were both pretty young when we first got together (18) and still quite young when we got married (24). I was 31 when we broke up, and most of the time we had a pretty good life. She's no longer with the bloke she left me for, and I'm still with Tourette's, so what does that tell you?

As a side note, we stayed on pretty good terms until she met her current fella, who seems to hate me for some reason. So on the very odd occasion I bump into them in passing, (I no longer live in the same town, so it's extremely rare) I always make a point of stopping and engaging in polite small talk with her, if only to really piss him off. Then I imagine the awkwardness when the two of them get home, and smirk inwardly.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 31 Jan 2008, 20:19, closed)

Careful...
I think I've caught sight of Disasterprone's dorsal fin in these waters... He'll getcha.


Da-dum. Da-dum. Da-dum da dum da dum da dum dadumdadumdadumdadumdadumdadum...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 20:32, closed)

Just Wait
Until Davros has an excuse to tell you about he and Tourettes first date.

It'll melt your heart.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 23:16, closed)

I'll tell you now if you like
She was two hours late.

Next time, we went to the Quayside in Newcastle. The sun was shining, we were there for the Orange free festival and to see Moloko play. Having consumed a few beers, we went for a toddle across the Millennium Bridge (or blinking eye, if you prefer). We stopped half way, gazed at each other lovingly for a few seconds, and then she said the magic words...

"Fancy a gobbing competition? You can be Leo, and I'll be Kate".

And so the next five minutes were spent hockling greenies off the bridge and into the murky waters of the Tyne.

She won, by the way. Says it all really...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 1 Feb 2008, 9:44, closed)

worked though, didn't it?
Admit it, you've been putty in my hands since that moment on the bridge........
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 4 Feb 2008, 12:59, closed)

Oh, absolutely...
;oD

'Nuff said!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 4 Feb 2008, 14:13, closed)