I'm not sure if this
counts or not, but hey ho.

About two years ago I was in a pub with a mate one afternoon enjoying a couple of relaxing beverages. There was an old bloke sitting next to me at the bar who was absolutely off his tits.

This old chap decided to start talking to me, which I endured for about 10 minutes. During the course of the conversation, being a considerate chap like I am, I enquired as to how he was going to get home and where did he live etc.

After this short conversation he hoisted himself up, leaned on me, tucked £30 in my top pocket winked and said "See you in a few minutes then." before staggering out of the pub and off down the road.

Being the fine, upstanding person that I am, I of course had to go to his house and allow him to take me dry so many times that in the end my bleeding anus was providing its on lubrication.*

*Last paragraph may be a lie.
(badger of doom http://www.trendingtracks.co.uk, Fri 1 Oct 2004, 9:29, Reply)