more of a forfeit than a dare
but i once went to an ann summers party at my then boss' house. normally i am pretty good at filthy games, but concentration lapsed and i lost one. (i think i failed to say "i really love to suck fat hard cocks" with 20 flumps in my mouth but without laughing and choking. it's harder than it looks. the game, not the cocks.)

as the girls here will know and the boys (probably) won't, the forfeits are all written on little cards. my friend had just lost the previous game and had to belt out "like a virgin". how hard can it be, i thought?

the right question was "how naive can i be?" i chose the Wrong forfeit card.

as well as all the sample sex toys, the ann summers rep brings a shit load of underwear. i had to get changed into one of the corsets, with a very skimpy negligee on top. DD is not a sample size. it was like trying to cram 2 jellies into a yoghurt pot.

i was then made to walk next door, vibe in hand, and ask to "borrow some batteries". it's a good job i was absolutely hammered. it's also a damn good job that they were out!!

still, could have been worse. two of my colleagues had to dress up in two of the outfits - a nurse and a french maid - and one had to chase the other down the full length of the street with a whip yelling "how could you, you bitch, you knew he was mine".

it's surprisingly difficult to take instructions from your boss seriously when you know what kind of vibrator she ordered... it's even worse a few days later when the battery fun arrives, you all troop round to collect your parcel... and her 2 year old really really thinks they are christmas presents and is shrieking to be allowed to open them...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Nov 2007, 9:26, 5 replies)

Something like this, then?

( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 2 Nov 2007, 12:26, closed)

...
The jellies and yoghurt pot analogy has given me a case of the giggles on me lunch break (as well as very vivid mental image that I really need to post somewhere at the back of my mind)!

My colleagues are now looking at me in a VERY odd way. How can I possibly explain?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 2 Nov 2007, 12:30, closed)

Any
jobs going at your place Rachelswipe??? It sounds ace.
(keeferreefer, Fri 2 Nov 2007, 13:19, closed)

with 20 flumps in my mouth
What are flumps???
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 0:51, closed)

that image is cute and pretty accurate really
or maybe i'm kidding myself.

flumps are marshmallows, about an inch long, in pink and white and yellow and green.

sure, they're always looking for well-endowed viewing staff, helps to let the flats better!!! although i left there a long time ago. nobody flashes or photocopies their tits in a law firm and indeed one would think that many people have the vibrators rammed up their arses instead...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 9:09, closed)