The tequila suicide story reminded me
of my mate Ben. We were on a night out with our football team doing a bit of a crawl and ended up in a pub garden.

One of us had the great idea of doing tequila suicides and, since most of us were 3 sheets by now, we didnt need much persuading. Cue a load of pissed blokes wincing in pain/chucking water in their faces/running off to throw up etc as you'd expect.

But Ben... ah now Ben. Bit of a mentalist anyway, he had an eye infection at the time and did in fairness have enough sense not to try the whole lemon squirting. At least not in the traditional manner. However, since he was feeling a bit left out he decided to improvise, did the shot, snorted the salt, dropped his keks, and squirted lemon juice straight into his japs eye, because "well they're kinda similar like".

There was a moment of stunned silence and then the entire team went down on their knees in admiration.
(Milo Minderbinder, Fri 2 Nov 2007, 18:02, 2 replies)

Surely after he'd squirted lemon juice down his cock...
...he was in no mood for a blowjob?
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 2 Nov 2007, 18:37, closed)

I sincerely hope
that last line was intended to be a massive and hilarious double entendre. OR it's a freudian slip exposing rife homosexual behaivour in your footy team.
(Stu Moo winner of five nobble piece prizes, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 17:05, closed)