I dare you to defecate in a box...
I was once dared by a school friend to leave a box containing my freshly passed faecal matter in the headmaster's office.

This was in repayment for his humiliating three of us during assembly that day for laughing (almost uncontrollably if I remember correctly) at the concept of "the virgin mary's womb".

I took an empty cardboard box from the painting cupboard and stole into the boys toilets (well it would've drawn attention to me if I'd stolen into the girls).

The next 15 minutes were gainfully employed in straining several large portions out of my pink hornless squid-beak.

On completion, my foul-smelling felicitation was ready and I placed it on the headmaster's desk.

He walked into his office (which was next to our classroom) and instantly hit defcon1. I still firmly believe had I been sat 5 metres closer I would've been knocked down by the shockwave.

As teachers are wont to do, he jumped to a conclusion and punished the kid who was always in trouble, dragging him by the scruff of the neck to his study to berate him at full volume for his "revolting act".. every so often you could hear the kid mumbling some defense which was then bellowed over as more ire was thrown at him.

I owned up at a reunion a couple of years ago, shortly after my 32nd birthday.
A look of thunder fell over his face and he dragged me off to his study and bellowed at me for half an hour as though I'd only just done it.

Bastard.
(LunarJim, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 16:50, 3 replies)

Punishment
So you were called to ordure then?
( abefroman skating on the thin life of modern life on, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 16:55, closed)

Box
It would have been even better if there was a ribbon on top, and a message of...

Happy Birthday!
(calamarain just invented dehydrated water, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 0:42, closed)

Pink hornless squid-beak.

I can't begin to imagine where/why/when/how you came up with that.

Pass the mind bleach.
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 11:19, closed)