A bit of a dull one.
I was just driving home from work, just now, and I went through the drive-through at MacDonalds for a junk food fix. As I was waiting for the stupid MILF in front of me, driving a large 4WD, to finish complaining loudly to the till monkey at the window about the quality of the deep fried apple pies, an old memory resurfaced.

Not really a "surprise" story as such, but still, something a bit poignant.

My last share house (again, many years ago) was rather crowded. About 7 of us lived in a 4 bedroom house, next to a busy road. One of the girls was a bit of a party chick, a bit rough around the edges despite coming from a "new money" family and having a very expensive education. Foulest mouth I've ever heard, lots of random sexual partners and completely selfish. Apart from that, she wasn't bad company, despite the faint whiff of stale semen and cigarette breath.

Anyway, one Saturday night, she's all dolled up to go to a posh 21st party. Some bloke called Andrew. As she told us many times while troweling on makeup, it was a select affair, rich family, invite only, only old private school chums allowed. She catches a taxi, all excited with the prospect of rubbing shoulders, and other bits, with some of Brisbane's most eligible batchelors.

Within a couple of hours, she's returned home, in a rather subdued mood.

We are all sitting on the sofa / floor / spare milk crate watching telly, a little surprised to see her return so soon.

My housemate Jeremy asks her "so, was it a good party Fi? You're home early...alone...sober...everything alright?"

Fi looked a bit distant, a bit shell-shocked. "Not really, everyone pretty much left straight after Andrew got completely blind, and thought it would be a hilarious party trick to jerk off the family dog".




Fucking Classic. Still makes me laugh.
( Ken Oath, Fri 5 Apr 2013, 16:41, 6 replies)

So yeah...
If you want to completely fuck over a budding career in law, do something as a "crazy surprise" in front of all your posh friends, so that your name is synonymous with canine masturbation, even 17 years after the event, and despite all your efforts in the legal arena.
( Ken Oath, Fri 5 Apr 2013, 17:10, closed)

Wanking off a pig didn't do that Rebecca Loos any harm.
She got to appear on "The Farm" as a result.
(ubergeekian, Sat 6 Apr 2013, 18:01, closed)

Handy Andy

( 4Q just lurking, Sat 6 Apr 2013, 0:12, closed)

Bit of advice,
if you want people to spend a whole minute of their time reading your story, better not start it with "A bit of a dull one"
( Zuowan, Sun 7 Apr 2013, 11:06, closed)

Aren't you the new polite Shambolic.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 7 Apr 2013, 13:19, closed)

True. "Wanking off a dog" would have been a better hook.
( Ken Oath, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 3:41, closed)