I can...
..consistently and unerringly, without fail, and completely subconsciously - more's the pity - always select the most immature, commitment phobic, emotionally retarded (if he is unable to maintain fidelity all the better) male in a 5000 mile (this is no exaggeration..trust me) radius to be my "significant" other.

Friday night, and my dearest has just decided to inform me of his plans to stay at home and play Xbox with a 15 year old who is not his son rather than spend time with me, a very very nice bottle of wine, and my emminently shaggable quim. Le sigh.

Oh well, all the more wine for me, and at least it means I will never spawn. Always an upside, eh?

**Edit** Oh, and I can drink beer out of my cleavage...which may explain the above :s
(Carmen Dyslexia, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 19:42, 13 replies)

Know what?
Sounds like a good time to head on out and find the second-most immature, commitment-phobic, emotionally retarded male in a 5000 mile radius to me.

It'll be an improvement, at least.
(littlesunshine licked your blinky diodes on, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 19:51, closed)

Ah, now, your unjustified expectations are showing.
If I may stoop to strikethru:

the most immature, commitment phobic, emotionally retarded (if he is unable to maintain fidelity all the better) a

in a 5000 mile (this is no exaggeration..trust me) radius person

We're just plain crap.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 20:17, closed)

Awesome!
What game are they playing?
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 20:37, closed)

not just me wondering that
well it makes a huge differance
(roadkillontoast, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 22:36, closed)

You're damn right!
If it's a Halo game or Call of Duty, I'd be round there like a shot - but if it's a Kinect, there's really no excuse.
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 15:17, closed)

only playing devil's advocate here
but if your boyfriend would rather play xbox with a teen than spend time with you, maybe you're horrible
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 21:14, closed)

or he's a closeted gay nonce

( Richard Shitheels, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 21:24, closed)

Horrible?
Well...there is that possibility :D

(Black Ops?..apparently,it's rather good)
(Carmen Dyslexia, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 21:49, closed)

Good?
I do not think it would matter if that 15 year old was christ hitting puberty and getting ready for the second coming, he has boobs that are well endowed enough to drink beer from, clearly that man is a tool.

[edit]
He has *access* to boobs.... Hopefully he does not have moobs :/
[/edit]
(Nirmeth My ignore list is fucking huge. Hint., Sat 20 Nov 2010, 3:46, closed)

An ex could drink beer out of her cleavage (COULD - if we had that idea), there might be spills but who'd waste time moaning when licking up the lot can be fun? His talents might need questioning..
Only thinking what everyone else is - surely?!
(Hudekin ( . )( . ) - cos i can't use photoshop.., Sat 20 Nov 2010, 6:14, closed)

I can only assume
that chances are I live within a 5000 mile radius of you.

If so, I take it as quite a compliment. Thanks!

Although, beer-cleavage interaction isn't my thing. Even though I love them both in equal measure.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 15:49, closed)

Congratulations on nearly not mentioning your tits.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 7:29, closed)

I was expecting volunteers...
..no-one? C'mon guys, I'm nearly married, one of you will now step forward as is standard B3ta practice...
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Tue 23 Nov 2010, 8:52, closed)