Why use one line when 950 words will do?...

( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:09, 3 replies)

it's tedious pooflake
my storys well cool though, not some schoolboy exercise book story about dicks and fannys or whatever it is that you keep banging on about.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:13, closed)

I wouldn't know what your tedious rambling was about...

I couldn't be bothered to read it. However, I'll take your word for it though...considering your pedigree of how many times the general public have voted for you to win QotW...

or even make the best page...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:16, closed)

I'll just wait here...

While you get your handful of bum chums to help you out.

If only they could be bothered to click 'I Like this' then you may do better in this QotW.

I'll click it though because you've made an effort. Perhaps you should delete it now it's been 'soiled'?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:18, closed)

HAHAHA BRILLIANT !!!!! I@M MORE POPULAR THAN YOU ON QOTW
ITS POOFLAKE WINNER ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS !!!


being a winner on qotw is quite the accolade Pooflake
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:21, closed)

Well - you would know...

Oh, no you don't .

You also seem to fail at life too. You're the gift that keeps on giving.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:23, closed)

TWANG CLUB
You're the first person to ever equate being a winner at life with triumphing at QOTW, this is internet gold right here
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:24, closed)

I'm surprised you haven't been more backed up by now...

I applaud you for standing up for yourself on your own two feet. How does it feel? Empowering?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:26, closed)

Didn't notice the ninja edit there - sorry...
I didn't realise that it took so long for your mongish stumps to bash the keyboard.

Feel free to leave a list of your achievements here...

...

or here...


anytime you're ready...



oh.


poor you :(
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:28, closed)

Being naughty stepped doesn't count :)

( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:28, closed)

I'm not in twang club, nor have I ever been anywhere near coventry.
I've also never posted endless crap on a forum, lapping up the attention of fat mentals who've voted me top of the shit pile. I ent run away in tears citing what horrible people have said about my embarrassing efforts to be funny because it's not the usual scychophants lapping it up.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:33, closed)

Well you're half right...

You HAVE posted endless crap on a forum (see OP, and also, OT), and you quite obviously do lap up the attention of fat mentals.

As for the 'usual scychophants lapping it up'. Do you want me to name yours?

No, I don't have to. You know who they are.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:53, closed)

No rory
All you have done is post mindless troll shit at people who make an effort to post stuff on QOTW like the retarded mong that you are. Why don't you just fuck off and play with your own shit somewhere else?
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:22, closed)

I'm managing to bat away your perceptive attacks I think for the time being.
What's your secret to being a QOTW winner? Apart from twang club that is.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:29, closed)

Oh I don't want to divulge any 'trade secrets'...

But between you and me, 'not being shit' has tended to help a tad with the old votes...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:31, closed)

Votes on the internet definately mean prizes as we all know.
You seem sadly proud of people clicking a mouse. I'll admit I've never read any of your efforts, they tend to be blocks of text repeating dicks and fannys all the time. I'll never be able to match that mofo
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:37, closed)

Well ditto.

I've also never read any of your efforts...because I was informed by reliable sources in advance that to do so would be a massive waste of time.

Tell me, why did you post this?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 20 Jul 2012, 16:01, closed)

It was an amazing story just waiting to be told
I've turned my qotw boat around
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 16:03, closed)

Ha ha!...

Good point scored. I actually 'Lolled'
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 20 Jul 2012, 16:07, closed)

Oh wait...

Are you going to have a tantrum?

TOPICAL!!!!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:21, closed)

like you Pooflake
but you seem to be acting like a twunt
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:33, closed)

I'm sorry everybody, you're quite right...

For the past few months I have taken to lurking as I just couldn't bring myself to posting anything for fear of the backlash. *cue backlash*

However, today I've just come back from the pub...I'm a bit squiffy, and I thought I would have a pop back for a change.

I'll climb back into my hole now...bear it no mind.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:37, closed)

it didn't really go as planned did it
You complete spastic
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:40, closed)

You're right...

I was expecting your sycophantic group of suck-butts to come in and help you out. Notable by their absence. Perhaps they’re too busy waving banners about the next time you get stepped, or possibly not giving a quendering fuck about anything you ever say or do?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 20 Jul 2012, 15:56, closed)

It's probably because nobody gives a fuck about anything I type onto the internet. I've come to accept it and live with the terrible truth that it's all just words on a messageboard
You should give that a go, you might get less upset then
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 16:05, closed)

TOO LATE!...

*cries and flounces off to real life*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 20 Jul 2012, 16:16, closed)

you boring prick.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jul 2012, 23:21, closed)

Let it be…

I’m really not sure about posting this, considering the amount of detail I am going to provide, even though it does not specifically involve me. Hey ho, let’s crack on…

The date was June 15th, 1968. I was not even an itch in my dad’s nads at the time, yet the present Mrs Pooflake’s Mum was flinging herself thighboot deep into the end of the swinging sixties. You’d be quite flabbergasted to understand that she was a Beatles fan, as I understand a few others shared her admiration of that particular beat combo around that time.

Motherflake-in-law (M.I.L) was busying herself dabbling into whatever young sorts did in the 60’s (If you’re young and unsure about what occured around that time, I believe there are some documentaries available), and was busy partaking in such radical experiences with a girl who was at that time her best friend.

She and her friend had something in common. Rebellion. M.I.L was brought up into a snobbish, almost puritan upbringing, and her friend was part of a very religious family. Sorry, did I say ‘religious’? What I meant to say was quite.fuckingly.bastardly.religious. In fact, her friend’s father was at that time the Verger of Coventry Cathedral. You get the idea.

The free-spirited, short-skirted, screaming at boys’ nature of these strong willed young ladies successfully managed to confuse and appall both sets of parents respectively to their wit’s end. I mean, these girls even occasionally wore leather jackets FFS! They should’ve been locked up.

Back to the date in question. It was a fine summer’s day, and Coventry was awash with the kind of activity that only occurs when people more important than the likes of us can be arsed to turn up…and this day was no different. Our unworthy, preposterous, shitheap of a city was going to be visited by none other than John Lennon (legend) and Yoko Ono (*facepalms*)

They were there on a mission…a mission of peace, togetherness and all that other bollocks they repeatedly bleated about. But how could they fully express their extreme dedication to plant-hugging, hippy crap? …They hadn’t yet conjured up the frankly fruitlooped idea of lounging about in a massive fartsack for yonks in some American hotel room yet, but they were determined on this day to make some meaningful stand.

So what did they do? Throw a sort of ‘Live aid’ event? Nah. A charity auction perhaps? I’m afraid not. What they did instead was plant a couple of fucking acorns that was in some way meant to symbolise love, harmony and no doubt better living accomodation for squirrels or something.

However, the location of this ridiculous publicity stunt happened to be at our very own Coventry Cathedral. So of course, having somebody ‘on the inside’ as it were, my M.I.L and her friend were allowed unprecedented access to these pointless proceedings. They were instantly the envy of their friends, and most of the teenage girls in the country, if not the world. In accordance to the importance of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, They thought they should prepare…

They decided to spend the day getting spacktardedly ratarsed on some home made cider they had blagged. This was the type that has bits of rat-hair and straw in it, and makes you go mental…then blind…then dead a bit.

Once suitably refreshed, they embarked on the Cathedral, snuck through the residential entrance, and barged the throngs of fans and media out of the way. “My Dad runs this gaff, he could have you killed!” My M.I.L’s friend spat at everybody who dared prevent them getting closer to their hero (and Yoko).

Eventually they made it to within a few yards of the couple. “WOOOO! John! Joooooooohhhhnn! I LOOOOOOVE YOU!!!!!!!” My M.I.L squawked, whilst making ‘kissy’ faces and attempting to thrust her hips provocatively at him. “Oi, YOKO! FUCK OFF!” her friend kindly bellowed whilst waving two fingers, just to add her particular ‘panache’ to the happy atmosphere.

They were largely ignored, and the ceremony merrily chuntered to it’s conclusion. Soon, it was time for everyone to piss off and leave the planted acorns under the bench where they had been stuck. The place cleared rapidly after the celebs had departed, and my MIL and her friend celebrated by starting to quaff the scotch from her mate’s dad’s liquor cabinet.

However, soon they were alone…properly alone, inside the grounds that had now long been been locked to the general public, and they thought to themselves ‘What shall we do now…?’

I’m sure you can guess what they did.

In a heartbeat, they staggered out wearily to the bench in the grounds where this statement of world love and understanding had been sited…They dropped to their knees, briefly looked at each other, then promptly dug the fucking acorns up that had been planted just a couple of hours before.

Sometime later, when there wasn’t so much as a twig sprouting from the ground, suspicions started to materialise that perhaps some peace-hating fucker had half-inched the acorns. Everyone felt a bit stupid. My M.I.L and her mate wisely remained tight lipped. The story here states: ‘Tourists dug up the acorns and Lennon had a row with the exhibition organizers over the moving of the bench that had been sitting above the acorn ground". My hairy arse was it 'Tourists'! My M.I.L kept hers for years before it finally got lost somewhere in the midst of time. Her friend, however, also kept hers (They were too pissed to remember who had John’s and who had Yoko’s btw) and she may still have it.

However, at this point the story gets quite surreal. Later on in life, my M.I.L. friend sorted herself out, got into religion and actually ended up spending some time as the Verger of the aforementioned Cathedral. Once, during an interview she was asked her opinion of the acorn theft. She replied: “I have no idea who did it, but it’s a tragic and senseless act” Pfft!

I used to think that my generation was the first to do naughty stuff. I obviously haven’t got a fucking clue.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 21 Jul 2012, 1:54, closed)

Adding a good post to this thread is a good idea as it helps to water down the shittiness of rorys original
well done
(King Nightmare, Sat 21 Jul 2012, 9:34, closed)

emvee will be upset if he ever reads this

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 21 Jul 2012, 11:34, closed)

lol

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 21 Jul 2012, 14:35, closed)