Lara Croft
I haven't spotted this name on any of these pages thus far, and I'm a little surprised. Perhaps there aren't so many gentlemen on here who were adolescent around the same time as myself, because I'm sure I wasn't the only one who liberated several gallons of goo over the thought of this graphical figment of some programmer's one-handed imagination.

It seems strange in retrospect, but then these were my teenage years, when my "taste in women" was a little less defined (boobs and a pulse) than it is now (boobs, a pulse and nice legs), and, at the time, it was hard* to escape the forceful advertising surrounding the Tomb Raider franchise. It didn't seem to matter that she was improbably shaped, or that her meat balloons looked like somebody had glued two basketballs to her chest. Nor that her mouth looked like someone had stuck the moustache off the Pringles guy, along with its mirror image, onto her face. As far as I, and many others were concerned, the boobs were big, the thighs were out and if I bought the game...I would be in control of her...

(I only ever bought the second one. It wasn't a bad game, at least when my hands were on the keyboard, rather than the joystick)

I guess the parents of many similarly unsociable teenage boys were relieved to see that, in amongst all the other computer games which involved taking the role of some soldier, commando or knight and taking part in some rather homo-erotic-looking fight scenes, their son had at least bought home a box with a voluptuous, albeit badly-vectored, woman on the front. All they needed to do now was try to persuade said son to perhaps leave the house...and try talking to real women.

But why take that risk, when with the right combination of controls and camera angles, you could get a view right up her arse? A view which was yours when you wanted it. A view which didn't turn round and ask you what the fuck you thought you were staring at. How many young teenage boys had their social development set back several years, I wonder, by Lara Croft? She certainly hindered mine...

*_{Fnar Fnar.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:57, 5 replies)

I remember my mate having this game...
And excitedly telling me he'd found the 'cheat' to get her naked...

This Holy Grail of cheats never seemed to work though...
( snee held his breath since, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 12:25, closed)

The captain in Creature Shock had similar appeal
You never got to play as her, though, and she featured only in a few short video sequences (and when she walked towards you at the end of one of the levels and smiled seductively before morphing into an alien Godzilla and trying to rip you a new arsehole).
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 12:48, closed)

Not a bad game?
Tomb Raider 2 was ace!

I played it again this year, was genius.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 13:51, closed)

^ This
Oldschool Tomb Raider is the shizzle; I bought the first two for the PSX earlier this year and my PS3 plays them quite contentedly...
( Maladicta, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:22, closed)

Pointy
I had the first game on the PlayStation.
The intro/cut scenes were curvy and gratuitous but the gameplay itself featured a much more pointy-boobed Lara, like she was wearing one of those cone bras Madonna used to favour. Still did the job though...
(Bad_Dogg, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 15:20, closed)