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Home » Question of the Week » Teenage Crushes - Part Two » Post 561214 | Search
This is a question Teenage Crushes - Part Two

Freddie Woo writes: I've still got weird feelings for a well-known female TV presenter from the 1980s. I'm now in my forties, work in the same building as her and she follows me on a number of social networking sites. And now, she knows about it.

Tell us about the teenage crushes that still make you go wobbly.

(, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:04)
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The Flake adverts fucked up my first ever BJ
Especially the one with the wanton gypsy floosy going all gooey-crotched over a bar of fucking rancid, mummified chocolate (just don't get flakes, me). They were out in the early eighties when I was too young to really understand it. I was excited in strange new cock-related ways... but I just didn't really get it...

Fastforward a few years and I'm round my first proper girlfriend's house, a girl named Toni (odd name, but she was actually pretty damn hot for a thirteen year old, not blokish in the slightest). We're pissing about playing Pac Man when we start doing a bit of low level smooching. Then Toni reaches for my fly and starts unzipping the beast, then she says: "I'm gonna Flake advert your man bits."

This was odd. I was thirteen. My 'man bits' resembled a baby carrot flanked on either side by a couple of garden peas, and the whole 'Flake' thing was decidedly dodgy. I recalled the ad. The way the girl brought the crap chocci bar up to her lips and took... a... long... loving... deliberate... BITE.

"Fuck off!" I said. "There's no fucking way you're doing that!" Then I quickly zipped away my pecker and went home.

Took a good couple of hours for it to sink in, just how much of a spectacular fucking twat I'd just been. Had to wait nearly four fucking years for my first ever blowjob after that. Fucking Flake adverts...
(, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 13:13, 5 replies)
Ah well,
it would seem as though you went on to make up for lost time.
(, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 13:51, closed)
"mummified chocolate"
hahaha

*click*
(, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 14:11, closed)
I've got a scar on my bellend
From one bird biting me...

To this day I still get worried when they head southwards on me...

But the flake adverts? mmm...oh yeah :)
(, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 8:33, closed)
So
"Toni, odd name, but she was actually pretty damn hot for a thirteen year old, not blokish in the slightest"

She weren't from Cov then...
(, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 15:09, closed)

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