Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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angrymanxmanif he was bright enough to know that, he'd have been too bright to confuse cream and glue in the first place!
when my friend emma was a young girl, her dad was driving her somewhere. he was extremely irritated to be held up by a crusty hippy who was standing in the middle of the road, hands raised, to stop the traffic. so that a crippled pigeon could limp slowly across the tarmac.
emma's dad was unimpressed, and beeped his horn, but the stupid thing didn't move. this refers to both the hippy and the pigeon. eventually the pigeon reached the pavement... hopped onto it.... hopped back off and began to limp back across the road. at which point emma's dad had had enough and floored it, leaving the hippy gaping and brandishing a fist. as the pigeon was crushed beneath the wheels, he said in his thick cockney accent:
"well. put it out of its bloody misery!"
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rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 19 Aug 2007, 18:29,
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