Paul
(or: Tightwad fuckery in Washington DC.)

So, I am walking out of the restaurant of the Crowne Plaza in DC after meeting my boss on a business trip as the waiter accosted me, saying ‘Excuse me sir, what did I do wrong?’

‘Um…nothing… I don’t know what you mean’

‘Well,. Your bill was $120, you only left a two dollar tip’

‘Um…I didn’t pay, I was having dinner with my boss, he paid’

‘Well, Did I offend him?’

‘I don’t know, I don’t think so’

‘In that case sir, I suggest you don’t eat here again tomorrow night’

‘No, I am sure it is just a misunderstanding, here, take this as your tip, I’m sure he will pay me back’ and I handed over a twenty dollar bill.

Did my boss pay me back?

Did he fuck.

‘I’m not obliged to pay these bloody Americans anything, if they don’t earn enough they should get another job’.

Thanks, Paul, you tight-fisted bastard.

Still, at least I got my fingers wet in your daughter at your third (or possibly 4th, I don't remember anymore) wedding. Didn’t know about that, did you?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 13:02, 26 replies)

hahaha!
but he's right abuot the tipping! :D
( Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 13:04, closed)

he is right about tipping
people get paid to do a job, they should do it well. if they do it extra specially well then they get a good tip. if not they get whatever the hell I want to give them, which may be nothing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 13:11, closed)

Hey...
This guy doesn't tip
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 13:22, closed)

I do tip
if I get given good service, but my point was that being tipped is a reward for good service, not a right because they didn't do something wrong
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 13:28, closed)

Exactly
If it's got to the stage where you're chased down the street for not giving waitperson X%, why not just stick X% on the price and be done with it?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 13:41, closed)

I've been chased by a waitress
saying we didn't leave a tip. We proceeded to tell her in the street that if she wanted a tip then she shouldn't've been so shit.
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:20, closed)

I was going for
A bit of Resevoir Dogs type fun...
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 15:19, closed)

fair enough
felt I hadn't made my point well enough though, so took the opportunity
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:18, closed)

He's right about tipping, in principle
However, in the US, the way things are done is that waiting staff are paid miniscule wages, and survive primarily from the tips they receive from customers. I don't agree with this practice - in fact I hate it - but that's how it's done over there.

That said, the waiter had no right to demand a tip - that's just not on.

Far Eastern countries like Korea don't have a tipping culture at all, which is far better.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:04, closed)

just looked into this, out of curiousity
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S.A._minimum_wages

except for kansas minimum wage is roughly $7-8 reduced to around $5-6 for employees receiving tips (not sure how that's legal, but hey).

that goes pretty hand in hand with the minimum wage here in the UK, yet our waiters/bartenders don't forcefully insist on tips...
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 15:01, closed)

"Survive" seems quite strong
The waiter in our hero's story was presumably "expecting" a 15% tip on a $120 bill, i.e. $18 cash. Assuming he had a modest half-dozen tables to look after, that's over a hundred notes, on top of his salary. Hardly slave labour.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 16:04, closed)

they are also taxed on the basis that they get tips at an expected rate
it's all rather fucked up

personally I don't do tipping, unless something completely exeptional or insane occurs

:)
( discomeats This canoe, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:51, closed)

Click
for fingering his daughter, assuming she wasn't 6 years old of course...
(zebby wasting irony here on, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 13:15, closed)

I say!
.... --- .-- .-. ..- -.. . !
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 16:45, closed)

You should
have given his daughter a tip too. Or maybe the whole length if she would let you.
(Rsoles, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 13:58, closed)

.
You should have suggested the waiter mind his own flicking business.

When I was in the States I didn't add a tip onto the bill because I was going to leave it in cash, like you're supposed to. And the waiter marched over and started giving out to me about it...

Bloody stupid working classes.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:22, closed)

Or...
Pointed out to the Crowne Plaza that one of its employees saw fit to bar a paying customer.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:41, closed)

If a waiter said to me "I suggest you dont eat here again" I would probably bitch-slap him.
or not eat there again.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:24, closed)

Or
both
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:00, closed)

bloody americans and their tipping culture
the waitress actually suggested you don't come back because you didn't tip enough? i would have quite plainly told her to go fuck herself with the ketchup bottle.

on holiday to new york several years ago i noticed the £/mile sign in a taxi also had 'plus tip' underneath. in other words the tip was a non-optional part of the fair. you had to pay it. kind of defeats the whole point of what a tip is doesn't it? really annoys me. surely it's up to bars/restaurants to make sure their staff get paid enough and don't have to survive by begging for handouts from customers. isn't there a minimum wage law in the US?
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:53, closed)

I'm an American
And I tip generously, so long as service is on par or better. Par meaning I don't have to keep reminding you for drink refills, my meal is cooked as requested, and any options (condiments aside from mustard and ketchup, any special cooked sides etc) are present and accounted for. If I am at a table with multiple checks, I take into account how you've treated others at my table.

I still tip for off par, but it is in ridiculous denominations, or hideous percentages (0.5%, paid in pennies, with an odd button thrown in for example). The only times I have ever been opposed to tipping anything at all were in situations where I was in a large group and "gratuity" was included in the check (how is it a gratuity then?). You can refuse to pay those anyway, by law all you have to pay is the check balance, but in order to make the establishment believe that requires a lengthy discussion, and both times I was on a schedule that had no flex in it.
(blinkin the merrily misanthropic IT gremlin, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 20:50, closed)

It's been said, but I'll chime in:
I tip. I tip bloody well in fact. I've been known on a couple of occasions to tip 50% of the bill because the service was fantastic. However, I only tip if they deserve it.

My local Chinese restaurant used to have a tip jar at the counter, which I would normally bung a fiver in. But they recently started adding a service charge to the bill as well. From then on, no tips, and I refuse to pay the service charge. The place is a self-serve buffet anyway, all the staff do is seat you and take a drinks order.

I, and also several of my family, have at one time or another worked in cafes, restaurants and the like. Not one of us agrees that there should be a service charge.
( OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 15:48, closed)

Have a click
for getting your fingers wet in his daughter!
( brown-wings Made with three kinds of butter, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 15:49, closed)

tippng / min wage
having worked in bars/kitchens for five years now i know why it's so important to tip... for a start, earning minimum wage is NOT enough to live on - must of m.w. places have schemes or bonuses that add to wages. Wthout tips its hard to make a living.
As for exeptional service, what more do people want? When you tip *generally* it is shared between all staff. So if your food was tasty, staff where polite, friendly and did everythng you asked in reasonable time what more needs to be done for a tip??
(Emily Salvage, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 22:07, closed)

''So if your food was tasty, staff where polite, friendly and did everythng you asked in reasonable time what more needs to be done for a tip??''
surely that's what you're paying for anyway though, right?
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 16:23, closed)

genius!
I used to think the best revenge is to fuck a terrible boss's wife, but you've educated me. Hats off to you.
( difficultchild, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 0:30, closed)