Sticking it to the traffic warden
I occasionally get my hair coiffed, curled, clipped or chopped at a nice little salon. The only problem with this salon is the lack of parking facilities outside, however there's a pay and display car park a five minute walk away. So even though I'm immensely lazy and the only places my legs willing walk to are a) the bar and b) upstairs for a spot of rumpy pumpy this really is no great shakes.

One day I arrive at the salon and see the one available parking space is taken, swearing under my breath I drive to the pay and display car park. To my dismay I realise I possess five pence less in change than the required amount to park my vehicle. A rummage through pockets, under seats and in the boot yields nothing except a few crusty McDonald's fries. Getting increasingly frustrated and late for my appointment I drive out of the car park to the newsagents at the top of the street to get some change.

I leave my car illegally parked on some double yellow lines while I quickly run inside to buy a Twirl and break a twenty. An elderly lady is having a natter to the only sales assistant serving and I start hopping from one leg to the other as I get more and more grumpy about my disorganisation and how late I am getting.

Eventually I get served after what was only really about two minutes but felt like twenty. I briskly walk back out to my illegally parked car to see a traffic warden hot footing it to book me. The traffic warden is about 50 yards away. Our eyes meet each other and in a slow motion chariots of fire moment we both break into a run. I make it first, jump behind the wheel, start the car and am driving away as she draws level with me and gives me what can only be described as a look of death.

I smile sweetly and flip her the bird, drive into the pay and display, park up, pay the requisite charge and arrive only 10 minutes late for my appointment.

Success!
(Fireyfox is prepared to change, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 15:01, 4 replies)

Wouldn't it be easier
to photocopy a blue badge and limp a bit.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 17:50, closed)

badges
Abuse of the scheme is so widespread many councils have their attendants check numbers etc. No idea what penalties are, but I think the badge's original owner would be in an awkward position (matron!)
(sarcastic fringehead feet of clay, buns of steel, head of lettuce, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:14, closed)

If this was a nail appointment
You'd be turned away after 5 mins lateness.

*used to be the poor sod enforcing this*
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 20:27, closed)

I once
turned up ten mins late for a nail appointment and was met with frosty stares along with the roughest nail filing I have ever experienced!
(Fireyfox is prepared to change, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 21:41, closed)