Dizzard
Minor concussion from cracking your head on a Waltzer.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sun 6 May 2018, 7:21, Reply)

Badworthy
A clickbait site that works by getting people's attention with depressing stories rather than uplifting ones.
( monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 6 May 2018, 7:02, Reply)

Badninish
To Google a tory MPs voting record and Scandals section on their Wikipedia page in order to prove to your parents that they should not vote for them.
( monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 6 May 2018, 6:55, Reply)

Hole's Hole
Someone has shared something by an awful twat to highlight what an awful twat that awful twat really is. You decide to read everything on that awful twat's timeline, and also the timelines of the awful twats that the awful twat has shared awful comments of. Welcome. You are stuck in Hole's Hole.
( monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 6 May 2018, 6:50, Reply)

Honiton
French for "You should be ashamed of yourself". 'Honi ton qui mal y pense.'
( collapsibletank procreates, Sat 5 May 2018, 22:44, Reply)

Christchurch
A church which is not a bar. cf Church.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sat 5 May 2018, 22:39, Reply)

Corfe
A parabolic vomit up the wall.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sat 5 May 2018, 22:39, Reply)

Throop
The unintentional diphthong produced by burping mid-word.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sat 5 May 2018, 22:38, Reply)

Frome
The sound of a Prius.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sat 5 May 2018, 22:37, Reply)

Beer Hackett
Dutch courage.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sat 5 May 2018, 22:36, Reply)

Ashburton
Dropping your cigarette in your lap while driving.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sat 5 May 2018, 22:33, Reply)

Curtisknowle
The mystical learning of those blessed with the Funk.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sat 5 May 2018, 22:32, Reply)

Babbacombe
The bullshit your friends tell you will induce labour.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sat 5 May 2018, 22:31, Reply)

Bovey Tracey
The cerulean blue of a geordie girl's legs.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sat 5 May 2018, 22:30, Reply)

Nether Exe
Doing your former girlfriend up the arse.
( collapsibletank procreates, Sat 5 May 2018, 22:28, Reply)

Lancaster (n)
One highly skilled in the arcane art of network configuration
( notmoro and mrnotmoro : formerly Ishamael and his Missus, Sat 5 May 2018, 21:52, Reply)

Long Whatton
A theatrical stare in another direction to make it abundantly clear you definitely can't see the thing in front of you. Much used during the advent of Chip and PIN technology by petrol station staff, who would make a big show of turning around to rearrange the cigarettes while you entered your number. Now most commonly used by anyone playing a mobile game, whenever they press 'Watch advert' in return for an extra life.
(costas, Fri 4 May 2018, 23:37, Reply)

Yardley Gobion
An excess of 1970's makeup
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 4 May 2018, 23:09, Reply)

Shiskine
An awful prick who, on receiving 30 or so retweets for a mediocre quip or observation, replies to their own tweet with "Wow, this blew up! RIP my mentions! I had to turn my phone off LOL! While you're here, check out my YouTube/SoundCloud/Etsy/Pornhub goat-interference channel"
(costas, Fri 4 May 2018, 22:50, Reply)

Dorridge
A brilliant joke where the punchline is a picture, completely ruined when Twitter decides to crop the picture in such a way that the key detail is left out unless you click to expand it, causing just enough of a delay to strangle the joke.
(costas, Fri 4 May 2018, 22:41, Reply)

Gransden
A feeling of being a proper grown-up, experienced when hearing a swear word on Radio 4 during the day.
(costas, Fri 4 May 2018, 21:58, Reply)

Oughtibridge
Denotes the point at which an Internet discussion is terminally waylaid by whataboutery.
( Smallbrainfield, Fri 4 May 2018, 12:16, Reply)

Catcliffe
1: Theoretical upper limit of kitten pictures on the Internet.
2: Any unfathomably large number, probably not infinity.
( Smallbrainfield, Fri 4 May 2018, 12:13, Reply)

Carlton Miniott
A Facebook user that communicates exclusively using animated gifs from "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" and "Despicable Me".
( Smallbrainfield, Fri 4 May 2018, 12:08, Reply)

Bishop's Ichington
The slight disgust with yourself you feel when your Twitter crush gets a new profile pic and you realise you don't actually fancy them at all.

"I can't come into the office today as I've got Bishop's Ichington"
( rob, Fri 4 May 2018, 11:41, Reply)

Billinge
Being hit for the full whack after your free/discounted trial period expires because the cancellation process is broken / deliberately complicated.

e.g "I got billinged for 39.95 because I had to phone Uzbekistan between 2am and 5am to cancel."
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 4 May 2018, 11:23, Reply)

Parbold (v)
To use * or ~ to emphasise a word in a post because you don't know how to do the proper formatting.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 4 May 2018, 11:21, Reply)

Dorking (vb.)
To begin any post on social media with "is it only me?" in an attempt to give yourself an escape route when the first three responses point out that you're a massive wanker.
(nr., Thu 3 May 2018, 23:14, Reply)

Liphook
Northern expression of surprise.
( CockGripShaftingSleeve, Thu 3 May 2018, 23:05, Reply)

Piddlehinton
Collective noun for a group of ravers standing in front of urinals all desperately trying squeeze out just a bit of piss.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 3 May 2018, 19:44, Reply)