Profile for monkeon:
www.monkeon.co.uk
Games and stuff here.
www.monkeon.co.uk/gallery
My b3ta pics go here... well, when I can be bothered to update it.
www.twitter.com/ricomonkeon
I don't tweet much, but I try and use it as a feed for pics which haven't died on their arse here and to launch any new games I make.
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 23 years, 0 months and 24 days
- has posted 16298 messages on the main board
- (of which 1154 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 168 messages on the talk board
- has posted 5287 messages on the links board
- (including 213 links)
- has posted 284 stories and 70 replies on question of the week
- They liked 3734 pictures, 1662 links, 3 talk posts, and 83 qotw answers.
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www.monkeon.co.uk
Games and stuff here.
www.monkeon.co.uk/gallery
My b3ta pics go here... well, when I can be bothered to update it.
www.twitter.com/ricomonkeon
I don't tweet much, but I try and use it as a feed for pics which haven't died on their arse here and to launch any new games I make.
Recent front page messages:
NEW IMAGE CHALLENGE - THE STONE AGE
Let's travel back in time and make jokes about our paleolithic friends. The Flintstones got 166 episodes worth of gags out of it, anyway.
(Tue 16th Jul 2024, 10:20, More)
Let's travel back in time and make jokes about our paleolithic friends. The Flintstones got 166 episodes worth of gags out of it, anyway.
(Tue 16th Jul 2024, 10:20, More)
I'm sure the old men debating show won't just descend into insults.
(Tue 18th Jun 2024, 23:09, More)
(Tue 18th Jun 2024, 23:09, More)
Just putting together a new AI-based con to target the credulous
Click for bigger (169 kb)
(Thu 29th Feb 2024, 12:57, More)
Click for bigger (169 kb)
(Thu 29th Feb 2024, 12:57, More)
Can you get them to remove all traces of Phil Spector?
Click for bigger (110 kb)
(Sun 21st Jan 2024, 21:45, More)
Click for bigger (110 kb)
(Sun 21st Jan 2024, 21:45, More)
Zuck's Emotion Eric rip off wasn't as popular as his Hot or Not one
Click for bigger (173 kb)
(Wed 16th Nov 2022, 22:48, More)
Click for bigger (173 kb)
(Wed 16th Nov 2022, 22:48, More)
Public Information Film - GMT: Don't Die of Ignorance (1922)
Click for bigger (85 kb)
(Sat 29th Oct 2022, 22:24, More)
Click for bigger (85 kb)
(Sat 29th Oct 2022, 22:24, More)
People forget the second round ended with a knockout punch from Parky
(Mon 17th Oct 2022, 23:16, More)
(Mon 17th Oct 2022, 23:16, More)
I found this I think it should win the compo
Click for bigger (102 kb)
(Wed 28th Sep 2022, 23:02, More)
Click for bigger (102 kb)
(Wed 28th Sep 2022, 23:02, More)
Been around the world and I, I, I, I can't find my baby
Click for bigger (118 kb)
(Sun 24th Apr 2022, 13:56, More)
Click for bigger (118 kb)
(Sun 24th Apr 2022, 13:56, More)
The tories will never recover from this satires on Russian influence
/brant
(Sat 12th Mar 2022, 16:10, More)
/brant
(Sat 12th Mar 2022, 16:10, More)
I wrote a script to mash up an array of toilet-related words and the names of Tory MPs.
The results reminded me of Garbage Pail Kids, hence...
Click for bigger (126 kb)
(Tue 26th Oct 2021, 22:28, More)
The results reminded me of Garbage Pail Kids, hence...
Click for bigger (126 kb)
(Tue 26th Oct 2021, 22:28, More)
A Very B3ta Attempted Coup
I was just going to do Furtive for the old timers, but got carried away.
(Fri 8th Jan 2021, 22:52, More)
I was just going to do Furtive for the old timers, but got carried away.
(Fri 8th Jan 2021, 22:52, More)
Some Disaster Quo felt appropriate
Due to broken links, there is now very little evidence Disaster Quo ever happened.
(Wed 25th Mar 2020, 23:45, More)
Due to broken links, there is now very little evidence Disaster Quo ever happened.
(Wed 25th Mar 2020, 23:45, More)
@!#?
Found this had bindun elsewhere whilst making it, but have it anyway.
(Tue 4th Feb 2020, 23:50, More)
Found this had bindun elsewhere whilst making it, but have it anyway.
(Tue 4th Feb 2020, 23:50, More)
Bit unfair
I was going to do one of a rack in an olympic gym, but turns out that's an actual thing people do.
(Thu 11th Apr 2019, 20:53, More)
I was going to do one of a rack in an olympic gym, but turns out that's an actual thing people do.
(Thu 11th Apr 2019, 20:53, More)
As the compo seems to include letter change products as well as companies...
(Wed 15th Aug 2018, 22:39, More)
(Wed 15th Aug 2018, 22:39, More)
You'd think they'd have learnt from the Halloween debacle.
This became too tenuous to be a compo entry.
(Thu 16th Nov 2017, 22:22, More)
This became too tenuous to be a compo entry.
(Thu 16th Nov 2017, 22:22, More)
I've seen a few Tories unhappy with Glastonbury this year.
edit: It's Tony Hadley's Spandau Ballet - the others were apparently lefties.
(Sat 24th Jun 2017, 19:43, More)
edit: It's Tony Hadley's Spandau Ballet - the others were apparently lefties.
(Sat 24th Jun 2017, 19:43, More)
People always forget the portrait version of album art used on cassette releases...
(Sun 13th Dec 2015, 19:04, More)
(Sun 13th Dec 2015, 19:04, More)
The series didn't really take off until they let you play as the pilot.
(Tue 7th Apr 2015, 18:35, More)
(Tue 7th Apr 2015, 18:35, More)
Just been checking out Dapper Laughs' site on Wayback Machine.
He's been doing the same jokes since the 90s.
(Sat 8th Nov 2014, 22:23, More)
He's been doing the same jokes since the 90s.
(Sat 8th Nov 2014, 22:23, More)
The new law will stop the problem of parents who
let their kids book museum tickets unsupervised...
(Wed 24th Jul 2013, 10:37, More)
let their kids book museum tickets unsupervised...
(Wed 24th Jul 2013, 10:37, More)
But he was still hungry...
Part of me thinks this may have bindun, but search turns up nothing.
(Wed 26th Jun 2013, 11:33, More)
Part of me thinks this may have bindun, but search turns up nothing.
(Wed 26th Jun 2013, 11:33, More)
Not sure if "Alternate Author" is close enough
to "Alternate Inventor" for this to be made a compo entry...
(Mon 2nd Jul 2012, 20:23, More)
to "Alternate Inventor" for this to be made a compo entry...
(Mon 2nd Jul 2012, 20:23, More)
Wonder if they'd be as popular if they'd been christened differently?
(Fri 2nd Dec 2011, 12:16, More)
(Fri 2nd Dec 2011, 12:16, More)
Unfortunately, the twist makes it not very much fun to play.
my gallery
(Tue 12th Jul 2011, 21:09, More)
my gallery
(Tue 12th Jul 2011, 21:09, More)
There's only one problem with my new YouCook microwave...
my gallery
(Thu 23rd Jun 2011, 14:51, More)
my gallery
(Thu 23rd Jun 2011, 14:51, More)
The problem is they tend to deal quite early
and the rest of the rubbish just piles up.
My gallery
(Tue 11th Jan 2011, 19:46, More)
and the rest of the rubbish just piles up.
My gallery
(Tue 11th Jan 2011, 19:46, More)
Every episode you think they are going to lose their millions,
and at the last minute they make a sound investment...
my gallery
(Tue 28th Sep 2010, 22:33, More)
and at the last minute they make a sound investment...
my gallery
(Tue 28th Sep 2010, 22:33, More)
I think this is my main bugbear with the web industry at the moment....
(If any SEO has a problem with the accuracy of this data, I can guarantee that, like SEO "expertise", I have based it entirely on anecdotal evidence from other web developers)
My Gallery
(Sun 20th Jun 2010, 19:14, More)
(If any SEO has a problem with the accuracy of this data, I can guarantee that, like SEO "expertise", I have based it entirely on anecdotal evidence from other web developers)
My Gallery
(Sun 20th Jun 2010, 19:14, More)
Ever wondered what the Conservatives' logo is supposed to be?
My Gallery
(Sun 11th Apr 2010, 12:05, More)
My Gallery
(Sun 11th Apr 2010, 12:05, More)
I like the interactive voting experience you get
when the Tate Modern is used as a polling station...
My Gallery
(Thu 8th Apr 2010, 13:10, More)
when the Tate Modern is used as a polling station...
My Gallery
(Thu 8th Apr 2010, 13:10, More)
Do you remember that time Salvador Dali was on Blue Peter?
My Gallery
(Wed 24th Mar 2010, 12:52, More)
My Gallery
(Wed 24th Mar 2010, 12:52, More)
For the love of Greyskull
edit: Props to benito vaselinni for getting there first, I see
(Sat 20th Mar 2010, 17:09, More)
edit: Props to benito vaselinni for getting there first, I see
(Sat 20th Mar 2010, 17:09, More)
Wonka, you're a mad man.
edit: turns out that The Perry Bible Fellowship beat me to it
(Sat 22nd Aug 2009, 12:21, More)
edit: turns out that The Perry Bible Fellowship beat me to it
(Sat 22nd Aug 2009, 12:21, More)
To be fair, it's hard for them to tell what they are buying themselves...
(Fri 19th Jun 2009, 9:48, More)
(Fri 19th Jun 2009, 9:48, More)
A lightbulb, some clothing...
and the alarming feeling of acting a bit too Neil Buchanan...
(Fri 17th Oct 2008, 11:01, More)
and the alarming feeling of acting a bit too Neil Buchanan...
(Fri 17th Oct 2008, 11:01, More)
Now that the novelty has worn off,
my new phone is just really annoying...
(Mon 22nd Oct 2007, 13:27, More)
my new phone is just really annoying...
(Mon 22nd Oct 2007, 13:27, More)
If the government have the rights to use him in their
"Don't drink and climb on scaffolding" campaign, then I'm sure they could use this storyboard for a safe sex ad...
(Thu 23rd Aug 2007, 11:44, More)
"Don't drink and climb on scaffolding" campaign, then I'm sure they could use this storyboard for a safe sex ad...
(Thu 23rd Aug 2007, 11:44, More)
They help you understand mental health issues...
The rest will be released as and when they are diagnosed.
(Thu 12th Apr 2007, 15:07, More)
The rest will be released as and when they are diagnosed.
(Thu 12th Apr 2007, 15:07, More)
Mitchell and Webb weren't the first comedians to do
the pretending to be a computer thing...
(Wed 7th Feb 2007, 13:34, More)
the pretending to be a computer thing...
(Wed 7th Feb 2007, 13:34, More)
Rip off!
It costs twice as much as normal and you only get four types of letter per can.
(Thu 6th Jul 2006, 16:12, More)
It costs twice as much as normal and you only get four types of letter per can.
(Thu 6th Jul 2006, 16:12, More)
The new Google Religion search
is rather useful when you have to use God to back up your personal opinions but don't have time to do any research...
(Mon 27th Mar 2006, 13:35, More)
is rather useful when you have to use God to back up your personal opinions but don't have time to do any research...
(Mon 27th Mar 2006, 13:35, More)
The media students didn't mind
as they'd been taught that it was a brilliant idea...
(Fri 9th Dec 2005, 14:08, More)
as they'd been taught that it was a brilliant idea...
(Fri 9th Dec 2005, 14:08, More)
Personally, I think KITT is as bad as Jeremy
and they deserve each other...
(Tue 18th Oct 2005, 14:53, More)
and they deserve each other...
(Tue 18th Oct 2005, 14:53, More)
After doing some market research
KRS1 decided to release version #1 as it seemed the most popular...
(Fri 7th Oct 2005, 13:06, More)
KRS1 decided to release version #1 as it seemed the most popular...
(Fri 7th Oct 2005, 13:06, More)
I'm sure that by simply changing the stickers,
Rubik could have another hit on their hands...
(Wed 28th Sep 2005, 14:32, More)
Rubik could have another hit on their hands...
(Wed 28th Sep 2005, 14:32, More)
As much as I like wine
I did only ask him to unblock the drain...
clicky if redexed
(Thu 22nd Sep 2005, 14:12, More)
I did only ask him to unblock the drain...
clicky if redexed
(Thu 22nd Sep 2005, 14:12, More)
British comedians have their
own version of the aristocrats joke...
(Fri 16th Sep 2005, 13:01, More)
own version of the aristocrats joke...
(Fri 16th Sep 2005, 13:01, More)
At the bottom of the ocean,
young Angler Fish are learning to communicate...
(Wed 24th Aug 2005, 14:06, More)
young Angler Fish are learning to communicate...
(Wed 24th Aug 2005, 14:06, More)
Beat em Up fans were disappointed
at the follow up to Yai Ar Kung Fu...
You couldn't even slap people.
(Wed 27th Jul 2005, 15:35, More)
at the follow up to Yai Ar Kung Fu...
You couldn't even slap people.
(Wed 27th Jul 2005, 15:35, More)
I was just wondering what movies would be like
if people who refer to '7/7' and '9/11' had always been around to name disasters in that way...
clicky if redexed
(Mon 18th Jul 2005, 15:49, More)
if people who refer to '7/7' and '9/11' had always been around to name disasters in that way...
clicky if redexed
(Mon 18th Jul 2005, 15:49, More)
The fools!
Don't they remember what happened last time?
clicky if redexed
(Wed 6th Jul 2005, 16:29, More)
Don't they remember what happened last time?
clicky if redexed
(Wed 6th Jul 2005, 16:29, More)
You'd think with all the problems in the world,
Bob could have found something else to complain about over the last 20 years...
clicky if redexed
(Mon 4th Jul 2005, 14:20, More)
Bob could have found something else to complain about over the last 20 years...
clicky if redexed
(Mon 4th Jul 2005, 14:20, More)
we saw some amazing things...
edit: shameless plug - cat stroke game
(Wed 9th Mar 2005, 11:20, More)
edit: shameless plug - cat stroke game
(Wed 9th Mar 2005, 11:20, More)
I cant help but feel that the government have
slightly wasted money on this campaign...
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 14:06, More)
slightly wasted money on this campaign...
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 14:06, More)
This wasnt quite as popular
as his Decathlon and Super-Test games...
edit:ooh my 300th fp. What do i win?
(Tue 26th Oct 2004, 13:21, More)
as his Decathlon and Super-Test games...
edit:ooh my 300th fp. What do i win?
(Tue 26th Oct 2004, 13:21, More)
Football : the text adventure C64/128 version
(Re:look around you - Contact me if a full size version of this needs making)
(Wed 13th Oct 2004, 13:43, More)
(Re:look around you - Contact me if a full size version of this needs making)
(Wed 13th Oct 2004, 13:43, More)
hopefully the new pelican crossing
at Abbey Road won't disappoint the beatles fans...
(Tue 31st Aug 2004, 13:19, More)
at Abbey Road won't disappoint the beatles fans...
(Tue 31st Aug 2004, 13:19, More)
good to see that greggs are celebrating
the true meaning of easter this year...
(Thu 8th Apr 2004, 13:50, More)
the true meaning of easter this year...
(Thu 8th Apr 2004, 13:50, More)
with a phantascope
and a piano, the victorians used to make their own fun:
(Thu 20th Nov 2003, 13:40, More)
and a piano, the victorians used to make their own fun:
(Thu 20th Nov 2003, 13:40, More)
she makes stamps like this
because she's scared people will recognise her if she goes to buy some.
(Tue 17th Jun 2003, 11:44, More)
because she's scared people will recognise her if she goes to buy some.
(Tue 17th Jun 2003, 11:44, More)
the government's original plan
for cigarette packets' health warnings was even more annoying...
(Tue 8th Apr 2003, 16:02, More)
for cigarette packets' health warnings was even more annoying...
(Tue 8th Apr 2003, 16:02, More)
If you look closely into the smoke
on this photo of Brighton pier, you can see the spirit of Dick Emery abandoning the end-of-the-pier theatre which he has presumably been haunting.
(It's real)
(Fri 28th Mar 2003, 14:35, More)
on this photo of Brighton pier, you can see the spirit of Dick Emery abandoning the end-of-the-pier theatre which he has presumably been haunting.
(It's real)
(Fri 28th Mar 2003, 14:35, More)
after looking at the entire exhibition
the paranoid pope became convinced that his head was going to fall off..
(Thu 20th Mar 2003, 16:33, More)
the paranoid pope became convinced that his head was going to fall off..
(Thu 20th Mar 2003, 16:33, More)
i made
pixel george michael and pixel policeman
so I thought I might as well make pixel arrest scene...
(Mon 20th Jan 2003, 11:08, More)
pixel george michael and pixel policeman
so I thought I might as well make pixel arrest scene...
(Mon 20th Jan 2003, 11:08, More)
the news seems somewhat
less horrible when told via spectrum screenshots...
(Fri 26th Jul 2002, 13:47, More)
less horrible when told via spectrum screenshots...
(Fri 26th Jul 2002, 13:47, More)
can tommorrow's challenge be to make
something nice for someone who noone else likes:
(Thu 20th Jun 2002, 11:02, More)
something nice for someone who noone else likes:
(Thu 20th Jun 2002, 11:02, More)
Myra's so sure that she's going to be
released that she's got her new image worked out already...
(Thu 30th May 2002, 13:36, More)
released that she's got her new image worked out already...
(Thu 30th May 2002, 13:36, More)
this is growing outside my house
i think Brian is plotting his revenge, but I don't know how...
(Wed 17th Apr 2002, 10:55, More)
i think Brian is plotting his revenge, but I don't know how...
(Wed 17th Apr 2002, 10:55, More)
my imaginary friend
he makes the milk chocolatey and I don't know how.
(Tue 16th Apr 2002, 13:57, More)
he makes the milk chocolatey and I don't know how.
(Tue 16th Apr 2002, 13:57, More)
I've just seen Sorgboi's ant
Please make more animals in this style, as that's the best gif I've seen in ages. Make us a web zoo. With working feeding times.
(Thu 6th Dec 2001, 11:00, More)
Please make more animals in this style, as that's the best gif I've seen in ages. Make us a web zoo. With working feeding times.
(Thu 6th Dec 2001, 11:00, More)
this is funny for all the wrong reasons
http://www.netmag.co.uk/wb_details.asp?id=29010&ch=WB001
a marketing chairman's idea of what makes a good flash game in order to promote his idea of a 'good game' (to promote his company) which is perhaps the most unoriginal game i have seen (its slickness only goes to make it more dull).
Compare his game to cats and wonder why this man feels in a position to comment on what makes an entertaining game.
(not promoting a marketing company or being topical over original, I think is a good start)
As for his own accusations of being 'sick' .. ooh, don't get me started.
(Wed 19th Sep 2001, 10:07, More)
http://www.netmag.co.uk/wb_details.asp?id=29010&ch=WB001
a marketing chairman's idea of what makes a good flash game in order to promote his idea of a 'good game' (to promote his company) which is perhaps the most unoriginal game i have seen (its slickness only goes to make it more dull).
Compare his game to cats and wonder why this man feels in a position to comment on what makes an entertaining game.
(not promoting a marketing company or being topical over original, I think is a good start)
As for his own accusations of being 'sick' .. ooh, don't get me started.
(Wed 19th Sep 2001, 10:07, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Evil Pranks
Piracy is theft
In the 80s, I was asked to make a copy of Fruit Machine Simulator on the spectrum 48k for my brother's friend.
However, instead of copying it, we wrote a programme something along the lines of
10 PRINT "The reason you are seeing this message"
20 PRINT "is because you have pirated this software"
30 PRINT "We have detected that your address"
40 PRINT "is 16 Butterfield Close"
50 PRINT "and the police have been informed"
..and saved that on the tape.
The friend's dad loaded the game and apparently was thinking about phoning the police in order to hand himself in.
(Fri 14th Dec 2007, 12:28, More)
Piracy is theft
In the 80s, I was asked to make a copy of Fruit Machine Simulator on the spectrum 48k for my brother's friend.
However, instead of copying it, we wrote a programme something along the lines of
10 PRINT "The reason you are seeing this message"
20 PRINT "is because you have pirated this software"
30 PRINT "We have detected that your address"
40 PRINT "is 16 Butterfield Close"
50 PRINT "and the police have been informed"
..and saved that on the tape.
The friend's dad loaded the game and apparently was thinking about phoning the police in order to hand himself in.
(Fri 14th Dec 2007, 12:28, More)
» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke
How many gammon does it take to change a lightbulb?
Millions. First to successfully campaign to leave the EU, and then to wait in the dark for the proper inefficient incandescent light bulbs to make a comeback.
(Tue 8th May 2018, 10:52, More)
How many gammon does it take to change a lightbulb?
Millions. First to successfully campaign to leave the EU, and then to wait in the dark for the proper inefficient incandescent light bulbs to make a comeback.
(Tue 8th May 2018, 10:52, More)
» Walkman Flashbacks
buttercup
A friend of mine told me that he really liked that "build me a buttercup" song. Why? I asked, it's horrible.
"It was playing at my girlfriend's house, when their dog came in and started trying to hump me" he explained.
So now, whenever I hear that song, I think of my friend being assaulted by a great dane in front of his girlfriend's horrified parents.
I have no idea why that makes him like it.
(Thu 24th Mar 2005, 11:53, More)
buttercup
A friend of mine told me that he really liked that "build me a buttercup" song. Why? I asked, it's horrible.
"It was playing at my girlfriend's house, when their dog came in and started trying to hump me" he explained.
So now, whenever I hear that song, I think of my friend being assaulted by a great dane in front of his girlfriend's horrified parents.
I have no idea why that makes him like it.
(Thu 24th Mar 2005, 11:53, More)
» Hotel Splendido
Bournemouth
A few years ago, myself and two friends went on holiday to Bournemouth. The landlady of the hotel seemed nice enough and showed us to our rooms. During the night, however, we could hear quite a bit of shouting from somewhere in the hotel.
The next day, I went out for a walk and what appeared to be a drunken tramp shouts something at me from down the street as I was leaving. As is usually wise, I chose not to turn around to a drunken shout of "Oy!", but instead I walked faster in the opposite direction and hoped that he'd ignore me.
However, the tramp ran after me and wrestled me to the floor.
The tramp then accused me of burgling his house.
It was only then that I realised that it wasn't a friendly old tramp at all, but rather the alcoholic wife beating husband of the woman who had showed us to our rooms.
Somewhere in his brain, he mustn't have realised that it was a hotel where he lived, but thought it was just his house.
The next day, he got his wife to appologise on his behalf. Like he seemed to get her to do everything for him. The twat.
(Fri 18th Jan 2008, 13:39, More)
Bournemouth
A few years ago, myself and two friends went on holiday to Bournemouth. The landlady of the hotel seemed nice enough and showed us to our rooms. During the night, however, we could hear quite a bit of shouting from somewhere in the hotel.
The next day, I went out for a walk and what appeared to be a drunken tramp shouts something at me from down the street as I was leaving. As is usually wise, I chose not to turn around to a drunken shout of "Oy!", but instead I walked faster in the opposite direction and hoped that he'd ignore me.
However, the tramp ran after me and wrestled me to the floor.
The tramp then accused me of burgling his house.
It was only then that I realised that it wasn't a friendly old tramp at all, but rather the alcoholic wife beating husband of the woman who had showed us to our rooms.
Somewhere in his brain, he mustn't have realised that it was a hotel where he lived, but thought it was just his house.
The next day, he got his wife to appologise on his behalf. Like he seemed to get her to do everything for him. The twat.
(Fri 18th Jan 2008, 13:39, More)
» The Meaning Of Giff
Buxted
A website which has been ruined by bad UX. "Amazon has been buxted since they've started trying to trick users into getting Prime by mistake."
(Mon 30th Apr 2018, 22:20, More)
Buxted
A website which has been ruined by bad UX. "Amazon has been buxted since they've started trying to trick users into getting Prime by mistake."
(Mon 30th Apr 2018, 22:20, More)