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This is a question Conspiracy theory nutters

I keep getting collared by a bloke who says that the war in Afghanistan is a cover for our Illuminati Freemason Shapeshifting Lizard masters to corner the market in mind-bending drugs. "It's true," he says, "I heard it on TalkSport". Tell us your stories of encounters with tinfoil hatters.

Thanks to Davros' Granddad

(, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:52)
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All your boats are belong to us now.
My current boss is a chap from Ireland. Let us call him Connor, for 'tis his name. He works in London and regularly flies over to Dublin, where his family lives.

Now Connor has 2 cars: 1 in Ireland and 1 in the UK. Both BMW 3 series estates. Both black. Now I always used to assume that the reason he had the 2 cars is that it was a: some kind of tax dodge or b: it worked out cheaper. Well. No.

One day, Connor and I were in the office working away.

"Fecking tieving borstords" I heard from his desk.

"Con my dear man, what seems to be the problem?" I asked

"Aer Fecking Lingus want me to pay £200 return from London to Dobh this weekend. Fock that!"

"Well, why not take the ferry? It'll be cheaper."

"Well no....Oi cannat take the ferry."

"Why not?"

Well, it turns out that Connor's uncle was...how shall we delicately put this....involved in the troubles. It turns out that one of his best friends was once on board the Holyhead to Dun Laghoire ferry when a small boat of masked men (according to Con's uncle, British Special Forces) jumped on the ferry, grabbed this bloke and sailed off into the sunset. The fact that at the time, Connor's uncle was so pissed he was unable to count how many hands he had was beside the point. Anyway, he put the fear of God into Connor. Nobody else in the family cared, and realised Connor's uncle was just a bit too fond of the potato firewater.

Howver, Connor has convinced himself, and more worryingly his sensible (if somewhat dowdy) wife that if they go on the ferry, they are going to be abducted by the SAS dressed as pirates.

I took it seriously myself for a while, but now I realise that they are both just Con's piracy theory nutters.
(, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 10:40, 6 replies)
Great !!!
Absolutely bloody MARVELLOUS!!!

(, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 10:43, closed)
Had me going to the pun, Excellent!!
(, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 11:58, closed)
had me right till the last line. a click for you sir. treasure it.
(, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:35, closed)
Most enjoyable
The simplest ones are often the best.
(, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 13:58, closed)
that's what my fiance tells me.
(, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 21:51, closed)
Fair does
Like a kipper all the way.
(, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 14:28, closed)

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