Fun House
My mate had a theory about the popular children's television program Fun House, which revolved a lot around the mullet happy host Pat Sharp. He believed the following was happening on the show:

- The ‘Twins’ were in fact Pat’s daughters. That’s right, those two little blonde haired minxes were the offspring of Pat Sharp. He had in written into his contract that the Twins must always be on the show, as their good looks helped attract a larger audience, and, more importantly, a constant stream of contestants.

- The contestants would never actually leave the Fun House after the show had been filmed. Instead, they would be coaxed by the Twins into a basement underneath the apparatus of the final round, with party rings, ice cream and jam sandwiches. Once there, they would be subjected to a variety of tests carried out by the government, because Pat Sharp was in fact working for the government. They used Pat’s friendly, sometimes wacky nature, to its full extent.

- These tests included seeing how the children responded to violent films and computer games. They were also used to test make-up products and the Twins would apply heavy lipstick and mascara to the children to see if the products were safe for human use. The children were told that this was still part of the Fun house and that by completing the tasks, they could win their family a luxury holiday. They were made to pen letters to home stating that they had gone on the run and for the family not to look for them. Pat Sharp would stand over the children with a large baton in his hand whilst they did this.

- The tokens collected on the go-kart round were heavily coated in a sedative. As the young contestants inhaled the fumes from the tokens, they would grow weary and thus, would be easier to manipulate.

- Pat’s famous mullet concealed a secret flap on the top of his forehead, in which he kept a gun, secret government files and a bag of liquorice allsorts. If the twins ever stepped out of line, he would give them a sweet to make them behave. He had brainwashed them so that they believed what they were doing to the children was right. Sometimes, he would rent the Twins out as entertainers at childrens’ parties, but this was just so that the government could gain inside knowledge of more children.

- Before the show started, the theme song was played to the contestants over and over again. On the line ‘it’s a real crazy show, where anything can go’ – the volume was put right up so that the children started to believe anything could happen on Fun House. Also, when in the secret basement, Pat would gently whisper ‘Use your body and you brain if you wanna play the game’ repeatedly to the Twins, whilst running his fingers though his mullet. This was just for his own amusement.

So, there you have it. Fun House was in fact a government trap which was used to gain extra information about how the children of the country responded to various things.
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:01, 8 replies)

I believe that
my brother went on the Fun House once.

He hasn't been the same since he came back
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 10:21, closed)

Well...
...at least he came back.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 2 Sep 2009, 11:15, closed)

as theories go
I'd say this one was sound.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 11:21, closed)

I would pay
to be dominated by the Fun House twins.
( Sunburn Go on.... It's character building!, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 12:10, closed)

The twins
They were trying to hypnotise me every time they bent down in the
cheerleader skirts. Yellow or red knickers under the yellow and red
outfits and off-white under the black outfits.

I miss that show.
(Underpants, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:59, closed)

bastard
not only do I now have the theme tune in my head, but I spent 10 minutes looking up pictures of the twins.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 15:59, closed)

totally plausible, but I've met the funhouse twins
Moyles bleated on about them a couple of years back on Radio 1 and they ended up as surprise phone guests on his birthday show. Nice girls but very needy and still seeking fame.
(cubase, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 16:11, closed)

*click*
This should be an Anti weed advert.... I've not seen one yet that hasn`t made me want to smoke it!
(Billyfindus Shy and retarded since, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 16:34, closed)