Old People
Upset that your family have moved away and no longer write to you? Simply contact your local newspaper to complain that
a) You were fined for parking your car on the inadequately-signed double-yellow lines in front of the fire station for a mere three days
b) Disgraceful lefty jobsworths have told you that you can't decorate your council house with a 50ft Union Jack emblazoned with the words 'Foreigners Fuck Off'
c) You're refusing to pay your TV licence until the evil BBC ban the vile gay propaganda being pushed on our precious angels by Big Cook Little Cook

Then simply check the 'Comments' section when your story appears online. Hey presto! You'll find dozens of people taking the time to write to you.
(costas, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:44, Reply)