Get your children into trouble at school
By sending them off full of misinformation about the world, such as:

"Acorns are lizard eggs."
"Dogs & cats used to be friends until they fell out over a heist gone bad."
"God is a potato."
"Sharing is boring."
"Punching is an acceptable substitute to talking."

Then claim innocence when they point their little snotty fingers in your direction.

And no, I don't have any kids. Not since they escaped.
(RebelWithoutApplause My underestimation will almost be the death of me, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 13:51, 6 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Yup. I felt immense pride when my nephew told his class authoritatively that the Hoover Dam was made of old vacuum cleaners.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:06, Reply)

Win

(username failed moderation, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 12:13, Reply)

see J Edge ahead with this remark
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 19:58, Reply)

What?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 10:06, Reply)

it was lame and tenuous
IE, I was aiming at what this site is all about

Mention of strategic dishonesty, Hoovers and a name beginning with J led my mind to J.Edgar Hoover
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 22:42, Reply)

And that Fellatio is a character in Hamlet.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 19:23, Reply)