Rules for Hull Fair - sorry for lateness.
Sorry this is late as tonight was the last night:

1. Point out how you wouldn't like to live on Walton Street during fair-week.

2. Dismiss any claims that it would be ace because you'd just go out your door and you'd be at fair.

3. Consider that the residents probably get a bonus off the council for the disruption.

4. Insist on having a look round first before doing anything.

5. Mention how they put the prices up as it starts getting busy.

6. Mention how much more expensive it is this year.

7. Say "You can tell it's Hull Fair week, because it's raining"

8. Watch several people get fleeced by pikeys on nigh-on impossible stalls - the hoopla that has a PS3 for a prize for example.

9. Get fleeced by pikeys as you attempt to get cheap darts that are as blunt as a biro-lid to stick into sheet steel with a dartboard drawn on it.

10. Point out to wife/girlfriend that the bloke you see walking about with an enormous stuffed toy hasn't won it by standing up a coke-bottle with a small hoop on a string, but is in fact yet another pikey.

11. Speculate how much loose change must be underneath the rides.

12. Get roped into going on overpriced rides that make you feel ill for the rest of the evening.

13. Say "I'd hate to think what might be in those burgers, and did you see the state of the chip-van?"

14. Buy a burger, a hot-dog and some chips.

15. And a big squeaky inflatable hammer

16. Stock up on candy-floss, nougat, brandy snap, coconuts, pomegranates and bags of sweets.

17. Completely forget that coconuts and pomegranates are a third of the price if you went in Asda instead.

18. Be dismayed when you see the same stuff, but cheaper further along the street, even though you knew they would be.

19. Pay over the odds for the 'F' service buses.

20. Resolve never to go again, as you are now £65 lighter.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 2:04, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ah, but wait, you forgot one crucial point..........
it's October. Middle of October.
Did you visit Santa while you were there???
Bet ya did ;)
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 6:17, Reply)

Santa
Which one? There are at least three.

Last time so many people masqueraded as a bewhiskered old man, they found the real one down a hole in Iraq.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 9:26, Reply)

Plenty of volume
I find a good conditioner and hairspray ensures my Full Hair rules
(knackerz is skinning up, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 3:08, Reply)