I have a West Highland Terrier
who likes postman's fingers, so I fitted an external post box on the wall to the right of my front door. You can't miss it, it has the word 'Post' written on it in big letters.

Oh, wait a minute, if you're a thick as pigshit postie you probably can. Hence postie nearly loses his fingers on a daily basis, and the gas bill has a hole in it the size and shape of my dog's mouth.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Mar 2010, 14:05, Reply)