Carrying bags – the definitive answer
You’re both wrong. This is what you do:

Find a piece of dowel about the thickness of a broom handle. Failing that, find a broom handle. Then, cut off two lengths such that when held in your hand, a couple of inches will protrude either side. If your hands are anything like mine, they will be about 7” long. You will now have two pieces of dowel roughly the same dimension as your erect cock (well, almost), or your partner’s erect cock if you are of the female persuasion…and have a partner.

Now, you need to cut a reasonably deep notch about 1” in from each end of each ‘knob’….ta daaaa! You are now the proud owner of a pair of placky bag holders which will enable you to carry effortlessly, and painlessly two very heavy bags over long distances. Just hook the handles of the bags over the notches and enjoy.

If you’re quick, you can knock up a pair of these for the wife for that extra-special, hand-crafted, thoughtful gift, though make sure she doesn’t mis-use them, as splinters would be difficult to remove.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 19 Dec 2006, 15:27, Reply)