Well....
....I bake bread 14 times a day at least. And my bread is used as the Standard Bread stored at the Ministry Of Standards so they have a bread to compare against when measuring things like crunchy or bounciness or weevil content.

I personally only ever use fresh rain to moisten my bread dough, and I work out the measurement by leaving my dough outside in a forest on a platter of my hair and I pray to the God of Bread to bless my dough and he spills his watery yeasty seed upon it in exactly the right quantities to achieve the perfect breaddiness.

I then fuck it and slap nutella on it for my tea.
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:24, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

that's quite funny actually!
extra points for effort.
i like the bit about the hair-platter.
yeah, i get quite excited about bread. i guess i maybe take it too seriously.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Well I wasn't trying to be mean...
....just seemed that some oneupmanship was going on and I wanted to play. My entire experience of bread making as been throwing a pile of stuff in a bread maker and marvelling at the inedibility of the wheat based brick that resulted many hours later.

Oh and my girlfriend once shallow fried a chocolate brownie (by substituting all the other liquids for more oil).
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:49, Reply)

yeah, i can see how would be interpreted that way!
you made me laugh, at your teasing and at myself too!
the simple fact is that i do bake a lot of bread and i was only trying to point out the way we can all accidentally use poor technique in the things we do.
and now i hate myself for being a technique nazi.
;-)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:54, Reply)