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This is a question Training courses, seminars and conferences

Inspirational or a waste of precious slacking-off time? I once went on a buzzword bingo-laden training course which ended up with my being held at gunpoint in public. Could have gone better, to be honest. Tell us your tales from either side of the lectern

(, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:01)
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No real story but....
I have been on a selection of courses over the years and there are some things I did manage to pick up. Here's a few suggestions.
1. The most useful part of any teambuilding course is the pissup afterwards. So if you really want your team to bond, save time and money by taking them down the pub.
2. If you are an instructor then breaking out your guitar is not a good idea. We are not laughing with you. we are laughing at you.
3. That goes double for a fucking banjo.
4. Get somebody to look up all the gay/drag bars in the area first. Having a gaggle of pissed-up and none too liberal matelots suddenly realise the pub is full of blokes sitting in pairs is just embarrassing for all concerned.
5. It's not a proper teambuilding course unless somebody comes close to getting twatted.
6. Or somebody's marriage ends up in trouble.
7. Try and pick a venue that has a swimming pool. There's no real business case for this but all the blokes will appreciate the opportunity to see the fit receptionist in a bikini. Call it morale-building.
8. And lastly. There is one person on every single course who really needs to shut the fuck up. It could be the middle-aged bore who thinks he knows everything, it could be the bitter divorcee who hates men and doesn't care who knows it, it could be the guy who thinks he is the second coming of Oscar Wilde. Either way, they will have made themselves obvious by lunchtime on the first day. Tell them the course has to finish early and put them on the next train back to Fuckwitsville. The rest of the course will love you forever.
Thank you. My invoice is in the post.
(, Sat 17 Mar 2012, 0:44, 8 replies)
but can you throw a kettle over a pub?

(, Sat 17 Mar 2012, 7:14, closed)
Feel free to climb back into your own vagina
Or at least launch a ping-pong ball over a pub roof using it.
(, Sat 17 Mar 2012, 7:33, closed)
Is Janets Vagina
A time lord Vagina then? Bigger on the inside?
(, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:38, closed)
Oh now look what you've done, you've made Ring Of Fire get up IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, to defend someone, online.

(, Sat 17 Mar 2012, 12:41, closed)
I'd never post about Janet's Vagina.
(, Sat 17 Mar 2012, 21:07, closed)
when you don't know what you're on about, it really shows.
(, Sat 17 Mar 2012, 21:37, closed)
I totally check using an online clock. It really WAS nearly midnight Down Under.

(, Sat 17 Mar 2012, 23:26, closed)
Oh. Gawd!
(, Sun 18 Mar 2012, 0:17, closed)

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