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This is a question Training courses, seminars and conferences

Inspirational or a waste of precious slacking-off time? I once went on a buzzword bingo-laden training course which ended up with my being held at gunpoint in public. Could have gone better, to be honest. Tell us your tales from either side of the lectern

(, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:01)
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M****e Fcuking T****y
Name censored to protect the retarded.

A few years ago I had to train a very reluctant client in how to use our software system. As she'd wanted to adopt a rivals software she was been difficult and obstructive at every opportunity and her lack of comprehension of the system was blamed on my inadequate training. My protests that she was trying to sabotage the entire project were largely ignored. To prove this point it was arranged that I would conduct the whole training session yet again but with her boss, the project manager and another colleague present this time.

I went through my spiel for several hours, engaging everybody and fielding questions where asked by all participants excluding the clearly disinterested M****e Fcuking T****y. When it came to the hands-on part of the training I asked them to conduct a few simple tasks on the product which everyone easily accomplished.

Apart from this bitch.

She announced that as she usually had a special ergonomic mouse due to some neck complaint she didn't know how to operate the simple 2-button affair I'd supplied for her. We watched in disbelief as she held the mouse like some spastic left-hander trying to conceal his homework from the kid next to him. She grasped it from from the cable end clawing it at an unnatural angle whilst pawing at the mouse buttons with the fingers of her other hand. After a short while she admitted defeat.

Once the session was complete I had a short meeting with her boss and project manager who apologised for her behaviour and acknowledged where the real problem was with the project. Although she'd worked there for 15 years she only lasted another 3 months before someone else took over her job. It's been running smoothly ever since.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 10:48, 8 replies)
Sounds familiar
I think I may have worked with this woman or someone very like her. She was universally disliked, had a problem with using a mouse and had the biggest arse in the world.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 12:36, closed)
In my experience. .....
the real level of disability is inversely proportional to the twattiness of the person concerned.
The genuine ones don't moan, the ones who are convinced that they're disabled but aren't really as bad as they think moan constantly. It's more in their heads than their bodies with a lot of them.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:33, closed)
See any person ever who uses the excuse of:
"...but I'm dyslexic!"

Really? I have a friend who is genuinely dyslexic and can barely spell his own three-letter name off the top of his head, yet recently completed a phd in neurology. It's interesting that "dyslexic", "thick as pigshit" and "just fucking lazy" are not mutually exclusive.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:39, closed)

(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 22:23, closed)
I once had a gig teaching council workers the basics of Microsoft Office
One woman arrived late and I could tell she didn't want to be there (I could also tell that the others didn't want her there either).
She sat in front of her monitor and saw her chance "Oh these are them new-fangled montiors (they were LCD) - I can't work with these they flicker too much - I need a usual monitor - I can't work with this - I'm off" and she left.
I didn't bother arguing that CRTs flicker a lot more than LCDs and let her go.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:10, closed)
When LCD screens first came out, they were pricey
perhaps 2 to 3x the price of a crt monitor. At the time, I worked for an NGO with limited funds to help underserved in rural Pacific communities.

One of the resident entitlement princesses decided she wanted an LCD screen and tried to use the US ADA (disabilities act) to force us to buy one for her.

She presented a generic letter from her uncle, a ..um.. GP, really, stating that a high refresh rate was necessary to keep her eyesight from deteriorating. Right. True for everyone in the sighted population, as is prevention of aging.

I checked the specs, got tech confirmation that anything with a refresh rate better than 75Hz was considered flicker free, and told her we'd get that for her. Her move. She was in a huff but Uncle wouldn't get more specific.

15 years later, she's moved on through several other jobs and still doesn't need glasses. Some people!
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 18:03, closed)
Something missing from that.
Why was she in a huff?
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 8:25, closed)
I see you've met my ex-wife......
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 23:53, closed)

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