Maybe if I take the cat to the handbag shop
and purchase one that weighs the same?
( brown-wings Made with three kinds of butter, Thu 19 May 2011, 16:40, 2 replies)

You want to take the cat and a handbag to the scales shop and make sure they weigh the same.
If they don't, you can trim hair/claws/limbs from cat until they do.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 19 May 2011, 16:46, closed)

The security guard removed me from House of Fraser
Apparently you're not allowed to bring animals in, unless it's a guide dog.

So, can I use a dog instead of a cat? Reckon I can get in if I slap on some dark glasses and tape a high-viz jacket round next-doors jack russell.
( brown-wings Made with three kinds of butter, Thu 19 May 2011, 16:47, closed)

Nah, wouldn't work
no-ones ever thrown a dog through a window or a screen door after shoving pennies down it's throat. That would be awful.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 May 2011, 16:50, closed)

Aye true.
I shall have to give this one a miss, but I was fully committed up until that point.

Actually, next door but one have some rabbits - any chance I could...
( brown-wings Made with three kinds of butter, Thu 19 May 2011, 16:53, closed)

Yeah, don't be a cunt, 'brown-wings'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 May 2011, 16:54, closed)